Bad Boys Never Change

Life without Dutch Again!

5 years later 

I wont lie life without Dutch has been difficult and the first 2 years were definitely the hardest. There were many, many breakdowns especially at Christmas, Birthdays and other holidays where I really missed the support of a partner. 

I visit him once or twice a week depending on my shifts at the hospital. Sometimes taking the kids or I just take the 2 hour drive on my own if I have to go during school hours. It's hard and it does take its toll on me as I just hate seeing him in there and it breaks my heart that we can only hug and kiss for like a second and then I have to leave him there.

Mike is due to be released this year, I do write to my cousin and I've seen him at the jail when me and Emily have gone up together to see them. I haven't really seen him one to one though as I would feel awful going all that way to see someone other than my husband.

Life has been tough for Emily, she lost everything after paying fines, court and lawyer fees she literally was bankrupt so I did the only thing I could think of which was taking her and Bodhi into our house.

Even though my financial situation wasnt any better hence why I'm working crazy shifts at the hospital my house wasnt in Dutchs name so they couldnt seize it. It belonged to his parents and the house was all paid for and still in their name so luckily we didnt have to move. His parents had been amazing with me and the kids and I couldn't have coped without them and their support.

So yeah the house is crazy with Me, Emily a 14 year old stroppy teenager, a 7 year old diva that still pines for her daddy and then finally 3, 4 year old boys who are literally feral and sometimes hard to handle. But me and Emily cope we cant afford a nanny and just sort it out between us all.

The guys used to visit us alot at first and then the visits became less frequent over time, it was only Bobby who was like a surrogate father to all these kids that still came round for dinner at least once a week and he has been my rock during the hard times and in truth I've probably become a bit too dependent on him, not that he would ever say that or say that he minded.

Mike will be released this summer it would have been earlier but he had got into a few fights in their he just cant help himself. As part of his probation he has to have an address to be released too and me and Dutch had agreed that he could move in with us too it was the least we can do and why not we had the space and it would be nice to have a man around the house again.

Today I'm heading up to Lompoc as I'm working the late shift so I want to go visit him while I'm free and then I'll take the kids up with me on sunday as I'm not working at all this weekend.

I drop the kids off at school and start the drive up there I really felt like I needed to see him today, when I get down the visits are the only thing that keeps me going even if it is literally the most depressing place in the world I just have to see his face.

I get there and have to go through the usual security checks which are extremely degrading but I get why they have to do it. I'm on first name terms with most of the guards now as I'm here twice a week usually. 

"Hey Vanessa" the elderly chirpy guard says.

"Hey Peter, hows everything with you? Hows your wife?" We have the general chit chat as I'm checking my bag in and being searched. He is a genuine nice guy and I know he looks out for Dutch for me and is always nice to the kids when they come to visit.

"He is really looking forward to your visit, he was having a bad day yesterday." He says shaking his head sadly.

"Oh, how come?" I say a bit worried now.

"Think the fact that his Buddy is going home soon is playing heavy on his mind." I nod in agreement, and head into the visitor room.

I walk into the boring grey room and see everyone sitting there in their prison sweats. It really is the most depressing room you will ever see, but then I see him sitting at his table looking eagerly at the door as people are walking in. His eyes light up when he sees me, he looks the same just as handsome, just as dangerous. His hair is really short now, he has a slight stubble, which has a bit of grey in it which I find ridiculously attractive, he is really broad and stocky as he just spends all his time in the gym working out.