The daisy II

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It was the first time he ever hugged me after I found him in the parts and service room. He put his right hand on the back of my head, as well as he pulled it gently against his cozy chest. With his other hand he embraced my waist. I couldn't hug back, however, I felt safer than even into his arms, as if these walls in which I always hide were finally able to isolate me from the outside and those people who wanted to hurt me. I felt like those few seconds ago of him with FunTime Foxy didn't matter at all, but now what really matters is what Freddy feels by seeing me shattered. I closed my eyes while listening to his way to breathe close to the back of my head. This reminded me to that first moment when he tried to make me feel better at Freddy’s; I had said a dialogue incorrectly and he came to comfort me. This doesn't make it so different, except that he's another Freddy that is witness about my sins.

   After many seconds in the same position in the middle of the room, I dared to hug him back; he winced a little just like I did when we were starting to know each other. I understand this could be moving so fast for him, but whenever I'm close to him I feel no more my will around, I let myself go with the flow of my heart and my desires. I stretched my arms and I put my hands on his shoulder from his back as if I were hooked to him. Without sudden movements I replaced my head to be now over his chest; I was lying on it. It's always so relieving to get to hear his breathing and heart beat against my ear. His fur was so warm, it didn't matter if he went out to the surface without a coat, it seemed to be a chest that was never going to get cold. And then I raised my head and looked up at his eyes. He was looking at me too, but as soon as our sights made connection he decided to look off and look some wires; they were everywhere, so he was looking anywhere but me. He didn't seem to match me in this warm moment, but after I had seen I wasn't going to let bygones be bygones, I was willing to leave behind my frights and move forward, at least as far as I could. I took my right hand close to his face so I could caress his left cheek. My fingers were passing through his white fur as I accidentally raised a little more his snout, that let me see his teeth and fangs. He kept staring at something behind me. I didn't know what it was, for I didn't want to get rid of my attention from a big mission. So then I raised my snout so it could be pointing to his so that way our lips could meet one more time. Now he was looking at my snout, but yet his mouth wasn't getting the vibe. I didn't find any other way to explain what I wanted to happen with words or body language, so I just thought about making the biggest movement of all: to kiss him. As soon as I raised a little more my head to reach his lips, he took his arms off me and turned around. He started to cough and rub strongly his face with both of his palms. Oh shit! I knew it was too much and too soon! If he was as much in love or confused as I am, I don't think there could have been a problem with carrying on with the show, but it looks like I was wrong.

   "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he repeated without looking at me, "I don't know wha—It's just that this is too much." He went to lean over the little box that controls the lights in the whole place; he leaned in a position like about to throw up.

   "Hey… I-I'm sorry, I didn't think it was too—"

   "It's just… I mean, this is something I can deal with, it's just that I've been so long locked in that…" He remained in the same position.

   I'm standing before two doors that can show me the very truth about Freddy: the first one is to see a Freddy that doesn't feel anything for me and found himself forced to be with me all this time. Behind the second door there's a Freddy that got confused about what to do for having to remember at the same time his ex-girlfriend. I don't know what's the solution for each door, but at least I thought about one and only answer. One of my favorite ways to get relaxed or feel better is when somebody puts their warm hand on my arms, or when somebody rubs gently my back. Those little details get me back to life when I feel like it's not worth it to continue. I could tell that since the moment I arrived at Freddy’s, Freddy couldn't help but pat my arm, my back or any other part of my body, the point is that he enjoyed having physical contact with me. At least I should stop sweating and shaking so my movements don't seem like his fur is burning me. I walked with short steps until I was with him, who was still in the same position while breathing hard and looking at the floor. I hope this is not the worst mistake of my life.