Once Bitten, Twice Shy

Chapter 63

I think I am in love.

Dang! What did I do to deserve this? Why did it have to happen to me as well?

I've been fighting against it ever since I can remember, about who I want to be.

Even with my sire, I didn't feel love. It was lust and exhilaration. I was fascinated by someone as strong as him, someone who saved my life. I idolized the guy, which might explain while it took me so long to realize what kind of a monster he was and murder him for it.

Furthermore, I can see now that what I felt for Seymour wasn't love. Or at least not this kind of all-consuming, life-changing love. It was more of a close friendship, understanding, that we mistook for love as neither one knew what love was.

"You seem lost in thought. Are you okay?" Tobias asks as we dash through the woods.

"I am fine, just thinking about how much things have changed and how much they're about to change," I tell him.

"You mean for the vampire society? Do you expect some trouble because of what we did today?" Tobias asks worriedly.

"No, I wasn't thinking about it, though it's bound to cause some contention. I was actually thinking about my life, how much it has changed," I say honestly.

"I've noticed. Are you and Eliot..." Tobias starts to ask.

"Don't ask me any questions, please. Just take me to Eliot as quickly as possible. Once I have a chat with him, I am hoping that I'll be able to rearrange my life to be better than it ever was before," I explain.

"Very well," Tobias says.

I love the fact that he rarely pries into my business. When I tell him I don't want to talk about something, he immediately accommodates me.

Cecilia and the others would have been dying to know what exactly was going on through my head. However, Tobias is happy to just do as I say and hope I would explain when I was ready.

"We're here. Do you need any help with healing?" Tobias asks, clearly alluding to me feeding on him.

"No, no, I am good. Just put me down and help the others burn every body part belonging to the Vampire Council. We don't know if the ancient vampires could regenerate themselves from a finger or something as crazy as that," I say.

"Okay," Tobias says, putting me down, away from the burning fire, the sickening smell of which is overwhelming my senses.

As Tobias runs off to do my bidding, I realize that sending him away might not have been the best course of action since I am more wobbly on my feet than I thought I would be.

Before I can kiss the ground once more, I see him.

Eliot is standing in the doorway of a nearby house, looking around, clearly searching for me. The expression on his face is one of worry, and in a way, I feel relief to see it.

It's an unguarded expression, one that shows me that he does care about me, that it's not an act or anything like what has happened to me before.

"Eliot," I whisper so quietly that even I can barely hear it.

However, his head immediately turns in my direction as if he could hear me. Perhaps it's more likely that he has sensed my piercing gaze, and it drew his attention to me.

"Helen!" He exclaims, running clumsily towards me.

I drag myself forward, the only thing keeping me going being his eyes and the need to feel his arms around me, to finally be safe.

Physical safety was never a problem for me. However, no one has ever made me feel emotionally safe.

As I fall into Eliot's arms, I realize what he has provided me with, faith. I have faith in his love for me and believe in the one I have for him.

"I was so worried about you," Eliot says, holding me tightly.

For the first time in as long as I can remember, my bloodlust is gone. All that is left is this feeling deep in my chest of peace, of love.

"I am okay. I just need to rest for a bit," I say, aware that if I don't sit down somewhere, I won't be able to tell Eliot what I need to say.

"Of course, let me help you," he says, wrapping a hand around my waist while supporting most of my weight.

That is how we reach the small house whose peaceful atmosphere is a beautiful change from the burning inferno outside. Even the horrible stench has lessened since the wind is blowing in the opposite direction.

"Here you go," Eliot says, gently lowering me on the soft bed.

Worry is etched on his face, and I wish I could erase it with one move of my hand. His face was made to smile or maybe to sparkle in mischief, not to furrow in pain and anxiety.

"Don't worry so much. I'm fine. It probably looks worse than it really is." I say.

"Well, it looks awful. I hate to see you like this," Eliot says, a sparkle of anger lighting up his eyes.

"Eliot, I am a vampire. In a couple of hours, I'll be as good as new," I say.

"Oh, right. So...do you need to feed on me... to get better sooner," Eliot asks sheepishly.

"No, absolutely not! I am never feeding on you again!" I spit out, jumping up from the bed, which only makes me wince in pain and lie back down.

"Okay, okay. Calm down. I think Seymour left some of the bagged blood you guys had in the freezer here. Shall I go get some?" He asks.

I want to refuse, to hide my monster from him, but it makes no sense. I fed on him, and even though he might not have seen me do it sooner or later, he'll have to get used to who I am, fangs and all, if we ever want to have a real relationship.

"Yes, that's a good idea," I say.

"Should I put it in a cup or something?" Eliot asks uncertainly.

"Eliot, stop worrying so much about everything and just bring the bags," I say, smiling at the overly helpful Healer who has healed me more than he knows.

"Right," he says, quickly taking his leave.

He is back much faster than I expected, and I suspect he might have run to get me what I need. I never had that before. No one ever cared as much as he seems to, and it's both exhilarating and terrifying.

Before I have the time to get lost in the beauty that my chosen one is, I bit into the bag, sucking the blood more greedily than I usually do. Still, it doesn't stop me from noticing the strange looks that Eliot is giving me.

"Are you okay? Do my eating habits disgust you?" I ask defensively.

"What? Oh, not it's not that. It's just..." He says.

"Spit it out, Eliot. Vampires can't read minds," I say.

"Did I do something wrong? Is that why you don't want to feed on me?" He says, words bursting out of him without his control.

"Of course, you didn't do anything wrong. It's me. I am hurt, and when a vampire is injured, they are far greedier and need huge amounts of blood. If I were to feed on you in my current condition, I would kill you in seconds without even noticing," I honestly say.

He needs to know all the dangers that being around me carries with it and make his own decisions. I am not about to lie and manipulate him since neither one of us deserves that type of dishonesty.

"Besides, I would prefer not to feed on my boyfriend," I say.