Once Bitten, Twice Shy

Chapter 16

I settle down for a long talk, and to my surprise, Seymour stays by my side. Having spent such a long time barely trusting anyone, it comes as a surprise to me when people stand by me.

I am so used to pain and betrayal that every time someone is supportive of me, I wonder what their ulterior motive might be. As the years went by, I've learned to trust Tobias since he never gave me any reason to doubt him, and yet I have lied to him.

The fact that I did a lot of things behind his back, that he wouldn't approve of, always makes me wonder whether it's the same for him. Whether he is hiding some betrayals from me as well.

I guess it's true what I've once heard being said that we prescribe to other people the characteristics that we possess, and then judge them for the perceived wrongdoing.

Still, this time I can't help but admire Seymour's faith in me. He knows that I am hiding something from him, that I am acting weird, and yet he is still here. I am not sure if he is trying to make up for leaving me or just has so much faith in me but either way, I am bound to hurt many peoples' feelings. No matter how insensitive I try to appear, it will hurt me to do so.

But first thing is first. I have to come clean to Tobias and Cecilia about what I know or think I know about them, about who they are or better to say what they are.

"So, as I was saying, we went to the Cemetery of the Ancients, which is where all the knowledge we possess is stored. It's mostly about vampire history and culture, but there is a lot in there about the supernatural world in general, as well." I say, looking at Cecilia explaining the situation to her.

If I am being honest, I am not doing that out of the kindness of my heart but because I want to buy myself more time. I am hoping that the perfect words would come to me, and I would be able to say what I need to say without hurting anyone's feelings.

Cecilia nods her head in understanding, and for the first time since I met her, I wish she would say more, ask questions even. She doesn't.

"Alright. I guess I haven't been completely honest with either one of you, and it's time to tell you the truth now that I know more of it." I say.

"What are you talking about?" Tobias asks, confused.

"That day that I saved you from those vampires bleeding you dry, there was something, something about you that I couldn't put my finger on. Your scent was purer, it was more intoxicating than anything I had ever smelt, but I didn't think much of it at the time. I put it down to having not fed for a while before I found you." I say.

I can see Tobias' expression darken at the mention of his painful past, and I hate to drudge it up again, but I have to. At least he has Cecilia's hand to provide him with some much-needed comfort.

"I had no idea what it all meant but I did start to wonder after Celeste, after you broke to pieces," I say although I hate seeing the pain overwhelming him once again.

"I had never seen a vampire experience human emotions so strongly before. What I mean is that although we are capable of almost all human emotions, magnified, there is still a part of us that is a predator. We generally don't grieve as much for our human lives, but you were crushed for years after her death. It never occurred to me to wonder why you were so different than me and everyone I know until I met Cecilia." I say.

Cecilia looks at me as if she doesn't understand the word I am saying, but soon enough, everything will be clear, and I am not sure if the knowledge would bring them any good or just make them question their very identity.

"Although I hadn't met her while she was human, I could sense there was something different. Besides, Tobias, when you told me how difficult it was for you to control your urges, it reminded me of the day I met you. That's when I started truly wondering. What was so different about the two of you?" I say.

"So what is it?" Tobias asks impatiently.

"I wasn't sure until recently. Honestly, I thought it was all just a myth." I say.

"That what was a myth?" He asks.

"The Healers," I say.

"What are the Healers?" Cecilia asks.

"That's a long story but let me go back to what I was saying because believe me when I say I had no idea how you were different, but some things just couldn't be a coincidence. How sacrificial you are, how difficult it was for Cecilia to stop drinking your blood even though it should be easier to stop drinking vampire blood than humans. Then, the idea of Healers occurred to me. I remembered the stories and why your behavior sounded so familiar to me." I say.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Tobias asks.

"I wasn't sure, and I didn't believe in the stories, there was no proof. Besides, you were already dealing with a lot, I didn't want to add one more thing to think about." I say.

"Then why tell us now?" Tobias asks.

His question catches me off guard because the truth is I am doing this for myself, for my selfish reasons. However, it might be helpful for them as well. They might learn who they are and thus lead more fulfilled lives.

On the other hand, knowing could crush them, but now that I've let the cat out of the bag, I know that there is no going back. For better or worse, I need to tell them all I know.

"Because I think you are ready to hear it. Also, I know a lot more than I did before." I say.

"How did you find out?" Tobias asks.

"Well, first I asked Seymour, who assured me that the Healers were as real as vampires. That led me to start researching, and that's how we ended up in the Cemetery of the Ancients, looking for answers." I say.

"Isn't that dangerous? You always told me that they had rigorous tests to let you in, and you were never willing to risk it." Tobias says.

"Yes, that's true, but I thought it was worth the risk to learn the truth," I say.

I don't say anything more for fear of revealing how selfish I truly am, and I am surprised to note that Seymour has shifted closer to me, supporting me. It's reassuring and maddening at the same time. Annoying because I am angry at myself for hurting the person he used to love.

"We learned the basics about the Healers and their history, but to learn more, we would need some Healer blood," I say hesitantly.

"That's the only reason you decided not to keep me in the dark anymore, is it? My whole immortal existence, you keep hiding things from me! Trying to protect me! I am not a child, you know?" Tobias yells like a spoiled child, leaving the room in a rush.

"Give him a second. I'll talk to him." Cecilia says as she goes after him.

"Well, that could have gone better," I say.

"Don't worry. He'll be back soon. You are his family. He can't stay mad at you forever." Seymour says.

"You were once my family and yet I have been furious at you for centuries," I say.

The awkward silence that follows serves to remind me why I have spent so many years alone. I am terrible at human interactions, always have been. Well, I guess all I can do is sit here silently until I find a way out of this uncomfortable situation.