In Your Dreams

16.

Mark followed me, we didn't even waste time finding Lexie to let her know. Of course we were under the impression that we were going to find a corpse, but the possibility that she was still alive had me in a race to find her. We went back to the property and looked in every water source we could find. The well was empty but there was blood, and it was somewhat fresh, which gave me hope.

Mark remained pessimistic about the whole thing, as I suspected. He'd already let her go, he'd already started to accept that she was dead. But I hadn't. I hadn't even begun to accept the fact that she was gone forever. But that didn't stop Mark...

"This is ridiculous." He muttered as we walked along the river.

"Then why did you come with me?"

"I'm halfway convinced you're losing your mind and I want to be there to see it."

I turned and grimaced at him. I knew that was a possibility too, but I didn't want to let go of the possibility that I was onto something, that was what mattered more.

"You know," Mark continued "Even if we did find her, she's not going to be anything like she was."

"I know."

"She'll be dead Derek."

I gulped hard "I know."

"You didn't even know her."

"I know." I muttered. "What's your point?"

"You're like a man on a mission." Mark explained "Like a man in love." I stopped and whipped my head around to stare incredulously at my former best friend "Lexie was right."

"What?" my stare broke as being caught off guard "What the hell are you talking about."

"You love her." Mark said plain as day, as if he were making a revelation "You love her."

I was cautious to make any facial gesture, I just stared. I wasn't ready to accept or give away the fact that I did....I did very much love Meredith Grey. Which made absolutely no sense to me, we'd never met. I'd only seen hallucinations of her and heard stories of her previous life. I knew that once I did find her I would find her dead and I'd only be setting myself up for heartbreak.

"We should keep moving." I mumbled as I turned around and began walking.

Mark didn't press me, for that I was glad. Mark was clean cut and straight to the point, he always had been, maybe that's why we were friends. I have a low tolerance for bullshit and Mark didn't give me any. I saw a glimmer of blue off in the distance and stopped in my tracks, Mark stumbled into me and then lifted his head to try to see what I was staring at.

"What? What is it?"

It was her. She was standing on the edge of a cliff in the distance where the river connected with the bay. She turned around and looked at me for a second and mumbled something that looked like 'help me' right before she jumped off the edge. My heart jolted as I watched her fall out of sight and then I felt my feet take off like a bat out of hell. Mark sounded winded as he tried to catch up with me.

"Derek!" he yelled out behind me "Derek what the hell!"

"Over here." I panted in my sprint "She's over here."

Mark didn't ask from that point as he followed me to the cliff's edge. I turned to my left and saw a path that led to the bottom of the mild cliffs and skipped down it to the bottom. It led onto a rocky beach with the waves softly crashing against the rocks in the water, there was an opening, like a cave off the side of the cliff and I felt myself drawn to it. What the hell right? I walked across the tops of the rocks and headed straight for it. The opening was large and there was a rock ledge around a pool that filled when the tide was high, it was low at the moment.

Mark and I both stopped at the opening when we both saw at the same time. My heart sank as we looked at each other the second before rushing over to the body laying in the pool. She was up to her torso in the water as her neck shoulders and arms were sprawled across the rock she almost looked to be holding on to. She wasn't moving, and she didn't look to be breathing either. As we pulled her out of the water, her body was like a rag doll, moving lifelessly. And her body was cold.

Mark wiped the hair across her face so he could see for sure. His lips trembled as he pressed them together and I knew without a doubt that we'd found Meredith Grey. Her blue scrubs were stained with blood and soaking wet. Her skin was so pale it was almost translucent, her lips were purple and there was no life in her. I felt tears burn my eyes as I looked her over and guilt began to weigh me down. Yes we'd found her, but it was too late. And now Mark had to see her like this, if it wasn't enough to rip his wounds open tenfold I don't know what would.

"Are you happy now?" he mumbled as his hand ran across her wet cold cheek "We found her."

"I'm sorry." Was all I could manage.

"I'm going to go call the coroner."

I nodded, unable to let out a sound without letting my emotions follow it. I reached down and smoothed my hand across her wet hair, as the pain of grief started to settle in my gut. My hand stopped at her neck as my palm and fingers cupped around it. I'd been waiting for this moment for...forever. And here it was, yet not at all how I'd imagined or hoped it would be.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered "I'm sorry I was too late."

I sniffled and felt something move against the palm of my hand. I froze as I looked at her, still cold and lifeless, and then I felt it again. It was coming from the spot on her neck where my hand was resting. Where underneath her skin was her jugular artery. And it was moving.

"She has a pulse." I whispered in disbelief. My head flew up and I gasped as I saw Mark retreating "Mark! She has a pulse!"