In Your Dreams

42.

I couldn't believe I was about to do this, as a doctor you promise to do everything you can to heal the person you're responsible for. But they never tell you how to deal with it when the person you're responsible for healing is the one you love most in the world. Yes, I know its rushed, I just got divorced, but over the past few days of Derek having a possible life debilitating medical problem, I came to realize, that there was no way in hell I'd want to live another day without him.

"Are we going to go over this again?" Lexie asked me.

We were in the radiology room, she and I wearing lead jackets over our surgical garb, no masks but hair in caps. The lights were down other than the ones shining over Derek. He was wide awake but not talking, he looked up at me and I could tell he was scared despite how much he trusted me.

"The leads are placed over the problem areas on the scalp." I explained "When I hit the button its going to deliver an electric current to those areas and if it works...it'll shock his mind back."

"And he'll start talking?"

"He'll start talking." I nodded.

"Twenty bucks says his first word will be a curse word."

"Lexie!" I scolded "I'm not taking bets!"

She shrugged "So we're ready?"

I looked at Derek, he nodded "We're ready." I said as I picked up the trigger, I suddenly felt nervous, what if this didn't work, what if I was about to turn the man I love into a vegetable for the rest of his life. As if he sensed my thoughts I felt his hand reach up and squeeze my arm, I looked at him and with his eyes he told me to not be afraid. I nodded "I need you to try to talk after you feel the shock."

He nodded.

"On three....one....two...."shock. I heard the buzz of the electric current zipping down the leads and Derek groaned and grunted as his facial and scalp muscles cramped "Talk Derek."

"Abtraza.." he tried.

"Again." I said desperately "One...two..." Shock. He cried out in pain and I felt panic start to brew but I knew I couldn't let it get the better of me "Talk Derek."

"Sevvvveeeee....." he slurred.

"Again!"

"Meredith." Lexie gasped "Maybe it's not working he sounds like he's getting worse."

"No." I muttered "We're doing this again...and again and we'll keep doing it again until it works!" I looked at the nurse in charge of the current "Charge the damn machine again!"

She hesitantly pushed the charge button and I let out a nervous pant.

"One....two....three." I pushed the trigger and nearly felt the electric current as Derek practically levitated off the table from the shock, I heard him gasp and strangle.

"Son of a bitch!"

Lexie gasped and I felt a grin spread across my face.

"Twenty bucks." Lexie mumbled, I didn't care, I'd give her a hundred.

Derek looked up at me in shock. "I can ... I can talk."

"And cuss." I giggled as tears filled my eyes, he smiled and sat up as he rubbed his sore temples "How do you feel?"

"Like I just stepped out of a microwave." He said as he held his shaky hands out "Will this last a while?"

"It could last a few hours." I said as I put the trigger down and stepped in front of him to inspect his head and take the leads off "But it'll go away."

"I didn't mean the shakes, I meant this feeling."

"You might feel nauseated and dizzy." I frowned as I set the leads down "But that'll go away too."

"I mean another feeling," He said as he reached for me "And I don't want it to go away, I want...I want it to last a life time."

"Derek?" I asked, I felt confused, what was he talking about...maybe I needed to shock him again.

"Marry me." He mumbled, Lexie gasped and I felt my jaw drop, yep, I needed to shock him again.

"Ok you need to rest that mind of yours, clearly you aren't thinking straight."

"Not tomorrow." He said grabbing my hand "Or any date setting soon, I know you just got divorced, but you were by my side through all of this, you were my rock. And I've never had a rock before, I've never had someone who was strong through something so scary. You're it for me Meredith, I want...I want to spend the rest of my life with you...."

But before I could reply his eyes fluttered close and he fell back over against the table, Lexie gasped and I scrambled to examine him. His pupils were normal, his breathing and pulse was fine too...he'd basically involuntarily taken a nap...a much needed nap.

"Is he ok?" Lexie asked.

"He'll be fine." I giggled, "Let's give him a few minutes."

She nodded as everyone started clearing out of the room, I stayed and after the last person left I took his hand in mine and leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you too."