In Your Dreams

37.

I was an asshole. I was moving too fast and saying too much. I felt like I was fifteen again with my first girlfriend and I wanted the world with her right that second. I needed to slow down, and I needed to incorporate a filter on my words...and I needed to get a bloody aspirin, my head was killing me today. Most likely the cause of this stress I was creating for myself.

"Page Dr. Grey." I said as I stood at the head of an OR table with an open brain in front of me. I squinted as my vision became a little blurry, I'd been staring at it too long.

"She said she'd come see you as soon as her surgery was over."

"And that was two hours ago." I muttered, this headache was making me irritable "Tell her I'm not seeking a chat time I need an extra set of hands."

"Yes, Dr. Shepherd." The scrub nurse nodded.

She left and I tried to focus on the aneurysm I was trying to clip. I could normally clip them in my sleep but this one was being difficult, for some reason I couldn't get my fingers around it. I let out a sigh of frustration.

"Damn it!" I muttered as it slipped out of my grasp again.

"I realize that you're the head of neuro surgery and all but you can't just demand me out of my own OR like you own the damn place." I heard behind me and smiled, I felt a little relief in the ache in my head but it still hurt "You need help?"

"Yes." I sighed "And thanks for coming so quickly."

"What's the problem?" she asked as she stepped next to me "I thought you could do aneurysm's in your sleep by now?"

"I can." I shook my head "But this one seems to be difficult."

I attempted to get around it again and she sighed.

"Stop." She said "You're going around it wrong." She held her hand out and I handed her a tool I was using, "Go at it like this and it's almost a straight shot, you're making it difficult."

As soon as she showed me it clicked, I knew that. I'd done that. Why could it not have sunk in before? I could have been done an hour ago if I'd done it that way. I let out a sigh of gratification.

"Thank you." I mumbled, I felt a strong throb in my head and cringed "Ah."

"Are you ok?" she asked as she looked up at me.

"Yeah." I said as I tried blinking to relieve the pain "Would you mind closing for me?"

She gave me a wary look but nodded "Yeah, are you sure you're ok?"

"Fine." I mumbled as I backed up and ripped my garb off. I just needed to lie down in a cold dark room for a few hours, that usually took care of my headaches.

I heard her say something to the nurses but I wasn't sure what it was. I scrubbed out quickly and headed down the hallway to my office but fell into the wall as another throb hit me..I felt a hand on my shoulder and I didn't' realize someone had been there before.

"Derek?" I heard Mark ask me "Are you ok?"

I nodded and pushed myself into the exam room I was right next to, I grunted and held my head as I laid back against the table.

"Derek." Mark asked as he hovered over me "What's wrong."

"Nickels, I need an apple balloon."

I looked up and squinted through the light to see a worried expression.

"What?" I asked.

"Do you know what you just said?"

"Yumbie, I know apple balloon."

I gasped to myself as I heard the words come out of my mouth. What I was asking for was him to get me an aspirin and water. But that's not what came out, and I knew this wasn't good.