In Your Dreams

26.

The morning light came through my window the next morning as a rude awakening and prompted a throbbing migraine. I didn't remember much of what happened the previous night, I recall walking into the bar and drinking an insane amount of scotch, Rose laughing and then it all gets blurry. My head ached so badly I thought someone was driving a tent stake into my temporal lobe.

"Oh god." I groaned to myself "What did I do last night?"

"Not much." I voice of disdain rang out next to me.

My eyes suddenly fluttered open and I looked over to see Rose's head resting uncomfortably on the pillow next to mine. She looked irritated and frustrated and...fully dressed thank god. I'm not one to boast but women usually don't look unhappy after having sex with me.

"Did we?" I asked.

"No." she said with a sigh of irritation "As soon as we got here you pretty much lost interest and fell asleep." She grumbled something under her breath about failing at her attempt to seduce me.

"Sorry." I mumbled even though I really wasn't. She's a beautiful woman, but just not Meredith.

"Why don't you just tell her?" she asked out of the blue.

"What?" I asked for more clarification though I had an incline as to what she meant.

"Meredith Grey." She said in almost a mutter "Why don't you just tell her that you love her."

"What." I scoffed and feigned shock "Meredith Grey is married, I don't..."

"But it's so obvious you do." She said cutting me off "The way you look at her it's like...like there's no one else in the world who could make you feel that way." I stayed silent, it was true, she sighed again "I'm the one who should be sorry, I thought I could change your mind."

"Rose."

"I'll go." She sat up but then stopped "But seriously, you should tell her." She stopped to gulp "If I was the one who was the object your attention that way...I would want to know."

And with that thought in my mind she walked out. I almost wanted to feel guilty, but she just didn't understand. I didn't want to love Meredith Grey, I didn't want to look at her, I didn't want to feel like I was floating on cloud nine every time we touched, every time I looked into her ocean green eyes. I didn't want to feel the way that I did about Meredith Grey, but I didn't know how to stop it.

I was hoping to catch a moment alone with her later that day at work. We needed to talk, or I needed to talk. The last thing I wanted to do was jeopardize her marriage, though she didn't always look happy and her husband was an asshole, it was her marriage and who was I to tell her what to do? I looked everywhere for her but she seemed to be nowhere to be found.

"Lex." I called out to her sister across the hall. She stopped and looked annoyed to have been stopped "Sorry to bother you, have you seen or heard from Meredith?"

"Not since she called me this morning and said she'd be running late."

I felt a hitch in my chest as I suddenly was throwing into a tizzy of worry. But relieved that she'd at least been heard from. Lexie squinted as she read my facial expression so I quickly ironed it out.

"Ok, well I was just curious."

"Right." She snorted "Derek Shepherd you're fooling no one."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you either need to stop pining after Meredith or tell her how you feel."

"I'm not pining!" I defended "And I can't tell her if there was anything to say, she's married."

Lexie's amusement turned to a sober look of concern "She's not happy." She whispered "And she sounded really miserable this morning, I think she'll need someone to talk to, and it should be you."

"Is she ok?" I asked nervously "I mean, should we go look for her?"

"She's a big girl." Lexie sighed "And I promised her I wouldn't get all overprotective. She'll show up."

I didn't want to accept that answer but I knew I had to. And what was with everyone telling me I should go for Meredith Grey? Were my feelings that open on my sleeve? Did Meredith know how I felt already? As soon as I turned the corner my worries flew away as I saw a familiar blonde walking quickly down the hallway with a few charts in her hand. My feet made the decision before I consciously did, I made my way quickly towards her and reached for her elbow to stop her.

"Meredith."

"What." She muttered.

I was taken aback by her attitude and didn't quite understand, that is until she slowly looked up at me. Her hair fell out of her face and I gasped as I saw the large purple bruise trailing up her cheek bone and circling around he left eye. I knew one thing for sure, as soon as my shock wore off I was going down for murder.