In Your Dreams

18.

Pain. I was in a world of it. I didn't know what had happened, well I did. But it went away, I was sure that I'd died. I tried to hold on, I didn't think he would do me like he did. I knew I should have contacted the police but I hoped that Mark or Lexie would find the safe in my office and bring the guy down for the sake of the women. But still, after that crack over the head I thought that I was done. That I could finally rest and hope that someone found my body someday for my poor sister.

I hated leaving the ones I loved but I had to help those girls. Obviously I wasn't big enough, but I did help a few. I couldn't turn my back on them as much as I could anyone else. I'm a doctor. Or I was anyway. Suddenly I started to realize why I was in so much pain. I felt my fingers and toes. And then my legs and arms, and then I could pinpoint the pain and where the source of it was on my body. Somehow and in some way, I was alive. But everything was so dark.

I felt something in my throat and heard machines around me. I must be in a hospital. I vaguely heard a voice, but it sounded so far off. A second later though I felt something burn through my arm and all the pain went fuzzy. So the voice must not be all that far off, I focused on it and tried to get closer to it. My mind hurt, but I knew I had to push through the pain to get there. I'd come this far, I had to wake up. I was sure that the people around me were working hard to make sure of that too, so I had to do my part.

I looked and I looked and finally I felt my eyelids. They weighed a ton, it was like trying to lift a car but I gave them a shove. Nothing. I heard a voice and it sounded closer, it was unfamiliar but I listened anyway. It was male and he sounded like he was talking to himself, or maybe to my body. I held onto it and shoved at my eyelids again, and everything got light. The room was blurry and I tried to focus my vision as I looked around what seemed to be a hospital room. There was a tall man standing by my bed looking at the machines, he was wearing a white coat.

I rested my eyes on him as they started to slowly focus, it was taking longer than usual being that they were out of use for so long. Finally I saw him, well clearly anyway. He was tall, maybe six foot or a little less, his raven hair fell perfectly on his head. His eyes looked like they were blue, cerulean or indigo, but they were looking down at the chart at the moment. His lips were perfectly shaped and wrapped with stubble around them. Yum was my first coherent thought. Maybe I had died and gone to heaven. And if not, what a damn nice thing to wake up to. When did Seattle Grace's doctors get so hot?

I was in Seattle Grace right? I quickly read the embroidered name on his jacket and confirmed. His eyes left the chart and swept over me as if by habit as he left out a soft sigh. He glanced up again and did a double take and looked surprised and then relief washed all over his face. It was as if he were waiting for something and he finally received it. Oh yeah, that's me. My eyes are open. A smile played at his lips as he set the chart down anxiously and leaned over my head. His eyes took me in with affection that I found confusing but certainly wasn't going to complain about. His smile grew, showing off a full set of perfectly straight white teeth and his blue eyes burned through me and into my soul.

"Hi." He whispered

I tried to smile back, to speak. But that something in my throat was keeping me from doing so. His forehead creased again as if he'd made the same connection. His hands moved to my face and started to tug at the tape that held the intubation tube in. He looked at me apologetically before he ripped it off. He unhooked the tube from the machine before looking down at me again.

"Cough on three." He instructed. "One, two...cough."

I coughed and he pulled the tube out quickly. I gagged a little but thank god whatever was in my stomach didn't come up. He grabbed a square of gauze and whipped my lips gently as he looked me over with the same affectionate look in his eyes as before. Who was this guy? And what did I do to deserve his presence? And he kept wiping at my mouth, I must be drooling, but can you blame me! My eyes met his again, they took me in softly. I felt warm all over my body, maybe he was an angel after all. But I still felt lost. I looked around the room to see if someone I actually knew, no doubt this guy seemed slightly familiar but I couldn't place him and I seriously had no idea who he was other than his name stitched into the side of his jacket.

"How are you feeling?"

I cracked my mouth open and wanted to speak but nothing came out. I felt blocked almost, as if the connection between my brain and my mouth were severed or bruised. Oh right, I got a metal pipe smashed into my head. He scrunched his brow up with concern, but jesus did every expression this man made have to be so damn sexy? It should be a crime to look THAT good.

"It's ok." He said as if sensing my worry "You had a lot of bleeding on the brain where your motor skills are, I patched it up and it'll take a minute but just relax and try to say a simple word."

A neurosurgeon! Are you kidding me? Could he get any more perfect....I tried. I had a delicious coach after all. Part of me wanted to not try so he would stick around and let me look at him. But I might need a bib after a while. He wiped my mouth again, luckily I had my previously intubated state to blame at the moment.

"What is your name?" he asked me "Can you say your name?"

Meredith. Meredith Isabelle Grey. I knew my name, but I kept opening and closing my mouth as if I were some kind of fish in the water. Nothing was coming out. I knew the word I needed to say but I felt pain again, like when you hit a bruise, but it was in my head. It might be good, it might not. I would ask the brain man but I couldn't seem to get it out.

"Ok, it's ok." He said soothingly as he sat down on the edge of my bed, god he smelled even better than he looked. "Look at me." How could I not! He smiled at me as if I should find it familiar, but I didn't. "Yes or no, do you know who I am. Do you remember me at all?"

The question threw me for a loop. I felt my head spinning and racking my thoughts as I tried to dig deep down inside of it and see if I'd ever seen him. If I'd ever met him. It came up blank but the pain in the bruise was starting to feel better and tingly. I swallowed to moisten my dry throat and looked carefully at him as I tried my hardest to speak slowly.

"No."

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Oops she doesn't remember him... What is going to happen next?