In Your Dreams

25.

Meredith Grey kissed me. Here I was about to give up hope, where I didn't want to. She was with her husband and I was trying to respect that. After all she had no idea who I was, she didn't know about the dreams and connection I'd felt. Sometimes a look in her eyes made me think that perhaps she felt a degree of what I felt between us. But still, I was on my own in my feelings for her.

And her husband? Total douche bag. He didn't deserve a second of her time. He took her for granted to put it lightly. Where was this little girlfriend of his? Why was he so protective of Meredith? I know it's not for the reason he's professing. Maybe he's trying to keep her locked away so the life insurance company he robbed doesn't find out and he has to pay back the money he most likely doesn't have anymore.

So I did what any man would do, act stupid. I tried moving on, I accepted a few dates from the nurses who were daily throwing themselves at me while I was distracted by Meredith's presence and life. It wasn't anything I would consider excitement. Not compared to her smile and the way her laugh tickled me.

"Dr. Shepherd?" I heard as I scrubbed out of my last surgery.

"Yes uh..." I came up blank when I tried to recall the surgical nurses name.

"Rose." She smiled sweetly.

"Rose." I nodded.

"I was wondering if you were free tonight." She asked, I felt a nervous pang in my gut "I heard you were new in town and I thought I might show you around?"

"Well." I mumbled as I tried to think of an excuse not to. She was pretty, and nice, but not Meredith. I was free, but I wanted to be free to my thoughts. But it was getting unhealthy. There was no guarantee that Meredith would be single or free to date any time soon. "Ok."

"Great." She smiled "See you in the lobby at eight?"

I nodded. And felt myself feel funny as she walked off, images of Meredith bombarded my mind.

And now my mind was full of images of Meredith kissing me. How I longed for our first kiss, it was short and soft. Her lips were like candy to my soul. I wanted to kiss her again, and I wanted to kiss her every day for the rest of my life. But she had a husband, which made me confused as to why she was kissing me. Maybe Lexie told her something, god I hope not too much.

It was after eight and I told what's her name to meet me at Joes and get started. I wanted to make this quick and painless and more so to find out what Meredith Grey's kiss meant. I had to find her. I walked across the dark damp parking lot and Joes and I heard the doorbell ring as it opened. I looked up and stopped as I watched her stumble out wearing a black dress that she looked ravishing in, her hair down around her shoulders in curls and a tissue wiping her tears away, it was a tragedy.

I caught her arm as she stumbled past me and she gasped as she looked up in surprise. I smiled humbly as I wrapped my other arm gently around her shoulder. A smile tickled her lips and her tears made her eyes sparkle in the moonlight.

"What's wrong?" I felt compelled to ask.

"I..." she cut herself off "I was supposed to meet Deacon. We need to talk...about a lot of big...BIG stuff and...well I think I've been stood up."

"So you're going home?" I asked, not wanting her to.

"I have no other reason to stay here." She mumbled.

My eyes scanned her up and down and smiled.

"But you can't leave like that." I said softly "You look far too beautiful to get dolled up and not even stay for a dance."

"But-" she mumbled.

Then I took her in my arms and her hand found mine as my other arm wrapped around her lower back. A smile grew across her face and stalled her tears as I started to sway us back and forth. Her smile started to fade as our eyes met. This was wrong, on so many levels. But it was beyond me, I couldn't seem to help myself from doing what I could to make her happy. I wanted to be the one solely responsible for her happiness.

"So we're kissing?" I asked, cringing inside at her possible response. She giggled. She giggled?

"Yeah, um. I was just very grateful for you saving my life. It was the only thing I could think of at the time to say thanks."

"Oh I'm not complaining." I grinned "No complaining here."

"Derek." She laughed, I said nothing and her laughter softly died "Derek."

"Meredith." I breathed.

"Meredith!" we heard on the other end of the parking lot and both stopped the dancing. I closed my eyes as pain overtook me and she softly moved away from me. "Meredith." He said again "Baby I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry." She whispered to me "I'm sorry I have to go."

I nodded with a forced smile as she disappeared into the dark. I sighed and turned to looking through the window at my date waiting for me at the bar, she smiled and waved. Well, this should be fun, thank god alcohol was involved.

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More chapters tomorrow but i will post the first 5 chapters of a new fic 😘
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