Ang Cheerleader Ng Buhay Ko [boyxboy]

Chapter 15

K E N T

I never thought that a guy's lips would be this soft. Never in my life did I ever think I'd kiss a guy, but I think I like it, lalo pa't lips ni Kevan 'to. It felt like time stood still, I can no longer hear the loud thud in my heart. I just want to stay in this moment forever.

This is very intoxicating. I gave in to the craving of my senses, losing myself in the moment as if I had forgotten how to spell my own name. Wait, what's my name again? I'm no longer aware of the surroundings that I didn't even hear the sound of the door opening.

Then I froze when I heard someone call my name.

"Kent!?"

I felt all the blood drained from my face. That voice. I know it too well.

With just a blink of an eye, I got back to reality. I can hear the loud banging inside my chest again, louder than ever. I felt as though my chest is going to explode. Parang lumipat ang heart ko malapit sa tenga ko. I can only hear its deafening beat. Umayos ako ng pagkaka-upo bago ako tumayo at humarap sa taong nakatayo sa may pinto.

"Ka-kanina ka pa ba j-jan?" I asked.

Jansen folded his arms and shrugged. He's wearing a look on his face that I can't decipher. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. Naglakad siya papuntang study table ko at dinampot ang cellphone niya, while I stood there stunned.

"Naiwan ko pala," he piped. He grinned at me and headed for the door. "Bro, alis pala muna ako, magpapahangin lang."

I haven't even said a word as he already shut the door.

Damn! I feel horrible. Nakita kaya niya? I glanced at Kevan, he was still sleeping soundly. Ito na nga ba sinasabi ko. I shouldn't have done that! What were you thinking, Kent?! Nababaliw na nga siguro ako. Oo, nababaliw na 'ko kay Kevan!

But... did he see me kissing Kevan? I couldn't read his expression. He was smiling as though he saw nothing. If nakita man niya, then I guess it's time to face the music. Bahala na.

My heart sank. Kinakabahan pa rin ako. I can't get it off my mind. I kissed Kevan! I did. It was short, but it was...I can't find the right words to describe it. Napahawak ako sa lips ko at napatingin sa kaniya.

The moment our lips met, I felt something melt inside me that hurt in an exquisite way. All my longings, all my dreams and sweet anguish, all the secrets that slept deep within me came alive. Everything was transformed, everything made sense.

And there, I said it. Now I have to admit it. I guess I have fallen in love – hard and fast, and there seems to be nothing I could do about it. Mahal na nga yata kita, Kevan.

I sighed. This is madness, I know. Lalaki kami pareho, but this is something I have no control over. What should I do next? Wala! Stealing a kiss from him doesn't change a thing. Dating gawi. Friends parin. Just friends.

I went back to my study area and sat in front of my laptop, staring blankly on the screen. Somehow, I have this guilt feeling inside me dahil sa ginawa ko. I took advantage. Damn! How could I do that? I have this nagging feeling deep in my core, it's telling me that what I did was wrong, but at the same time, it tells me that it was the most beautiful thing I've experienced in my whole life.

But it was just a stolen kiss, and like soap bubbles, the feeling is fleeting.

Napasabunot ako sa buhok ko at napatingin kay Kevan. What's done is done. Nangyari na eh. I whispered, "I'm sorry, Kevan. I'm sorry sa nagawa ko. Mahal na kasi kita."