RED | h.p

fifty-two

I SAT IN THAT BLOODY HALLWAY crying for what felt like hours, I couldn't feel my legs and I guarantee they're too weak to hold me so I just let myself break down. I can't believe I considered myself a good friend when I never even saw the signs that were right there.

I am either bloody fucking dense or I just never saw him that way to not even realize he didn't treat me like a friend the entire time. He hadn't been treating me like a friend for a while in the duration of our 'friendship'.

Why am I even crying?

It's not like it's my fault I don't feel the same, I shouldn't be sorry for having feelings for Harry instead who happens to return those feelings. I guess I'm hurting for Draco, I could only imagine the kind of pain I put him through.

But at the same tie, I don't owe him anything. 

I'm conflicted.

"Lily?" I heard someone call out my name, I turned and looked up to see Harry looking down at me with worry. 

"You heard, didn't you?" I asked him, returning my gaze to my hands limply resting on my lap and I didn't need to hear him answer to know what the short silence meant. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What? Tell my girlfriend his Slytherin friend had feelings for her?" Harry asked chuckling sarcastically. 

I bit my lip, almost drawing blood as I held back profanities threatening to spill. I'm too vulnerable right now, I might say things I don't mean and make a bigger mess out of all this. "How did you know, then?"

"I'm not blind," Harry got on his knees and placed his coat around my shoulders. "I saw the way he looked at you, it's the same way I look at you."

More tears came, I was basically sobbing and he wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm sorry, Lily," Harry whispered, tightening his hold on me as if he was afraid I'd face away into nothing if he lets me go. "I know he was your friend and you genuinely treated him as such but his parents are death eater, they're blood supremacists and with him, you'll never be safe."

I chuckled, wiping the tears on my cheeks and turned to Harry with a smile. "You say that as if I have ever been safe whilst I was with you."

He smirked at me and help me get to my feet, I clung to him to not lose my balance again, he did so by wrapping one arm around my waist and hoisting me up. "Wanna go back to the party?" He asked softly.

I shook my head to say no. "I'd rather go and sleep the rest of the night, I don't think I can keep partying." 

"Too bad. I found out where the mistletoe was located." Harry teased and I giggled. 

"Harry Potter, you're an idiot."

***

I ran down the hallway to catch up with the tired Hufflepuff making her way out of Charms class and she noticeably looks better, not really back to normal but better than before. A bit of colour finally returned to her face and the bags under her eyes weren't as dark.

"Rose!" I called out to her and she failed to turn around to face me, or she just didn't hear me so I ran faster and blocked her path. "Rose, can I talk to you for a second?"

Rose stayed quiet, waiting for me to say something and I let out a deep sigh, I have been running around the castle looking for her. I didn't really know her schedule and we barely shared classes together, and those classes she's been failing to attend.