RED | h.p

fifty-six

Note : Contains someone having a panic attack (?), might be triggering for a few. Also it might not be too accurate because I don't really get panic attacks, I do however have episodes cause of my Bipolar Depression so I might just go with that. . .

WHAT IN THE BLOODY FUCK JUST HAPPENED? I managed to keep myself collected long enough- aside screaming and panicking in my head- to walk out of that classroom and go into a secluded area. I quickly casted a spell to make sure no one would hear me and screamed.

I can't even put into words the emotions I'm feeling. That was so weird but for some reasons I didn't feel disgusted and instead just confused and sad because even though that was so out of character and beyond unusual- his entire aura was gloomy.

After abusing my vocal cords, I dropped to the floor and only now realized I'm sweating. That whole thing is probably gonna appear in my nightmares. I am never gonna get rid of that memory and D.A.D.A classes will never be the same.

Am I having a panic attack? This feels like one, wait no- I'm probably about to have one. I haven't had one in a while which is a surprise considering how many times I almost died but here I am gasping for air in an empty classroom cause my teacher wasn't mean to me.

Bloody hell.

"Who's hiding here?" 

I have no idea who said that, all I can think about and process is how I am struggling to breathe. I felt a really painful yet numbing ringing in my ears, I can't stop the tears from flowing and I feel as if I can't breathe tho my chest is heaving really rapidly.

"Lily, is that you?" 

I don't know that they said, the moment they said that my brain automatically must've disregarded it so I have no idea what they just said and I can't recognize the voice well. 

I'm shaking now. Shit, it's usually not this bad but maybe this is all my emotions from the previous events stacking up and I'm just one big bowl that's filled up to the brim and is now spilling.

Warm.

Suddenly it feels warm, wait- is someone hugging me? I tried to grasp my situation and very faintly heard someone's heartbeat beating really close to my ears, am I pressed up against someone's chest right now?

"Can you focus on my voice? I'm really sorry to be hugging you without your consent but I can keep talking, just please focus on my voice right now." I did as I was instructed and listened in, getting acquainted with the rhythm of their heartbeat and their voice.

And with my panicked mind- it mixed well when it reached my ears. 

"I'm really glad I found you here, I won't even ask what happened, just focus on me right now. I'm here."

Then the voice grew clearer in my mind, slowly I could recognize just who it belonged to and I don't even care if our last conversation didn't end well and the things I learned about him turned out to be really unfortunate on my end. I'm just glad he's here and I'm not alone.

We let a few moments pass. Just him with his hands around me as tears uncontrollably make their way down my face but I'm no longer crying. Just sitting still, willing my heart to stop beating so fast and feeling comforted by the warmth of his arms.

Soon enough, the ringing in my ears stopped and I'm back to normal, as if that whole thing didn't even happen and slowly removed myself from him. I got up, slowly dusting off my uniform and swallowing.