RED | h.p

fifty-nine

Note : I'm so happy to say I'm in a much better place now- mentally and physically. I have school in a month so I doubt I'll be able to update a lot but I am glad to be coming back here and reading all the comments that piled up from my months of absence. Thankyou all so much for the support and for still anticipating updates.

I can't believe this now has 80k reads! Thank you all so so much, not only did this fic help me improve writing, but it was also something I had during tough times. No need to get all sentimental now- I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS MUCH AWAITED UPDATE! <3

~

HARRY IS SUPPOSED TO LEAVE TODAY WITH DUMBLEDORE TO DESTROY A HORCRUX. I am worried but it's not like I can come with them.  All I'm left to do is wait for them to return and hopefully it'll be good news.

I have faith that they'll be just fine.

My tosser of a boyfriend managed to survive until now with zero survival instinct and lack of wit, he'll be fine, surely.

I'm jesting. I don't know how to properly cope with all these emotions.

"You look quite constipated, mate." Ron commented, making Hermione let out a sigh of disappointment and shut her book closed.

"Wow thanks, Ron," I sarcastically replied. "You ought to look like it when your boyfriend is about to go on some dangerous mission. Aren't you worried?"

Ron shrugged. "He's Harry. He'll do great."

Either Ron was overestimating Harry, or he just has too much faith on his best friend.  

I ignored him just as Rose took a seat next to me. 

She looks- different. I know every time we see her she seems to be worse and worse- similar to one blond Slytherin, but right now she appears to be better. Healthier, even.

"Do I at least get spoiled if my boyfriend dies today?" I joked, nudging her with my shoulder and she forces a smile.

"Oh my god Rose-" Hermione didn't finish panicking.

"Don't worry, he'll be fine." Rose assured us and I felt my nerves ease. That's all the assurance I need- wait, she said he'll be fine. Not that he'd be unharmed. I wanted to pry some more but then Rose tensed beside me.

I followed her line of sight and she appears to be watching Malfoy. I exchanged glances between them, she's looking at him with so much sadness in her eyes. Are these two okay?

Nevermind- no one is ever truly okay here.

I left the Great Hall for some alone time and ended up in the lavatory where Moaning Myrtle resided. She's fortunately not here, and so I let out a relieved sigh. Turning the faucet on to splash water on my face.

Rose assured me he'd be fine. There's no need to be so nervous but a nagging feeling kept clawing at me at the back of my head. Something ominous and unpleasant is reaching out to me, begging me to indulge in the darkness.

Something bad is about to happen and I need to be prepared.

But I'm quite literally still a student, with my knowledge lacking. That little encounter at the ministry will prove to be nothing once the war actually takes place. I always worry about Harry and my friends but now I'm taking a moment to worry about myself.

What if I make the wrong judgement and it costs me my life?

Bloody hell, I'm too young to die.

With the panic settling in and my thoughts beginning to race, I felt the darkness take over and I am once again in another memory.