You Give Me Fever || Michael Jackson

Chapter 5: Love Or Lust?

The kiss seems to be going on forever now.. and I'm not complaining.

But my only problem is.. here I am, kissing my doctor, little more than a few hours after breaking up with my boyfriend, and less than an hour after finding out my child is gone.

Is this right? I know for sure I'm in love with Michael, but... is it really the right thing? I don't know..

I break the kiss yet again, not wanting to prolong it.

Well, on saying that, I could kiss those lips all day, but I mean, I don't want him growing tired of it.

"You really should stay longer," Michael says, referring to the kiss. I look down, avoiding eye contact for a moment.

"Why won't you look at me? It was a kiss, it's not illegal," he adds.

"Why do I feel bad about this?" I ask. Michael places his hand on my shoulder, and I look down at his hand.

"It's understandable, Becky. You've been through a lot in the past day or two, it's alright if you're feeling strange about this."

I look up at his face, his expression is genuine and empathetic.

"I know it's understandable.. but it doesn't feel like it.. how many times you seen a girl fall for their doctor? Hmm? It isn't exactly happening every day, is it? This feeling we have.. is it really love? Or is it lust? I mean, your feelings to me. I know how I really feel for you, but.. do you feel the same? It could just be a sympathy kiss, or.. maybe I look different to you now.. I don't know! I thought I was ok with this, but.. doctor Michael, please help me.."

My tone is saddened. I really thought I was alright with this, but obviously I'm getting a little overwhelmed..

Michael takes my hand, and looks me in the eye.

"Look, I know I'm your doctor, and I know that you're finding this strange, but, trust me, this is how me and Lisa started. We met when she came in to my old place, which was up in California. I thought she was something else, outta this world.. but now I've met you, my mind and heart are saying different to what they used to say. You've changed my standards, Becky. You've made me realise that the love I had for Lisa.. that wasn't real. I know real love now. And I've found it... in you."

His explanation is reassuring me more, telling me he really does have feelings for me.

I think he's changing my mind, for real. Maybe I'm right that this is a strange relationship, but maybe, just maybe, that's what makes it so right.

The fact that it's made of two people that have been in love, to be hurt, then.. they fall in love with each other. We both know what it's like being hurt, and now maybe, just maybe, we're starting the next step, the step that involves the curing of both of our hearts.. Michael can be my love doctor.

"Maybe you're right.. am I being stupid? I mean, it's just a kiss.. it's just a fever.. and it's only me that's feeling it, otherwise.. doctor Michael, have you got a fever?"

Michael's face drops dramatically.

Hmm, is he intimidated by me asking him this question? Looks like it.

"Uh... that's a very.. personal question.." he stutters, making me smirk in amusement.

"Aww, c'mon, doctor. Is doctor Michael feeling the fever, or was this just a sympathy kiss?"

Michael jerks his head up, looking hurt that the question would even be raised.

"A sympathy kiss? How could anyone kiss someone because they feel sympathy? No, Becky. That kiss, those kisses, they were real. Real kisses. And before you ask, no, I don't feel lust towards you. I feel love, real love. Becky, understand me when I say this; I feel a strong love for you, ok? Proper, proper love. And I understand if you aren't ready for us to go further just yet, because of what happened lately, but I want us to be together, and whether that takes a second or 100 years, I'll always be waiting for you to love me back, for you to feel ok with loving me. And in answer to your question, ok, fine, yes. I have got a fever for you. Becky Summers, you give me fever. I'll admit it outright. I don't care anymore. What's a fever to be embarrassed about anyway? It's a feeling, you can't control it. And I can't control my feelings for you."