LETTER [정원]ᴇɴ⁃

39

I burst into tears because I can't hold the pain anymore. This is a really bad idea, I should not come here if I know this will
happen. After 4 years, I thought I can pretend to be okay and happy when I meet him again but I'm wrong. I still love him no matter how many times I force myself to forget him.

" Im Soo Ah!"

I could hear his footsteps closer to me, so I walked faster and suddenly nervous when I realized I am walking in the wrong direction. I quickly changed the direction to escape from Jungwon but he was faster than me. He grabbed my hand and dragged me somewhere else although I am refuse to follow him a few times.

-

" I want to go home."

" It's you." He finally spoke up.

" I want to go home," I repeated the same words, holding my tears again because I miss him.

" No. You can't leave me this time." He replied to me coldly. I tilted my head to face him but it surprised me when he suddenly leaned his face closer to me making me gasped. He tucked my hair behind my ear while his eyes locking on my lips-

" Can I kiss you?" He asked me coldly.

My eyes widen when he leaned his face closer to me, was about to place his lips on mine but I quickly stopped him by pushing him away and taking a step away from him while staring on the ground.

" Please stop. Please stop all of this."

I cried, covered my face with my palm
when my tears rolled on my cheeks again.

" Is it fun to make fun of my feeling?"

It slowly getting into my nerves for sure. I left him because I wanted him to be happy with Hana and yeah, I should be happy for them, knowing that they are a married couple now.
having a baby - but he still came to me and asked my permission to kiss me."

" I never make fun of your feeling."

" You are doing it now." I shortly answered to
him and avoided his gaze when he looked at me
seriously.

" Im Soo Ah, look. Let me say so-"

" No. Don't say anything to me. Don't talk to me. I am scared if I start to have a feeling on you again. So, it's better if you leave me." I replied to him.

" I don't want to leave you. You are my p-"

" What? what do you want to say? a precious friend? " I paused and wiped off my tears.

" I loved you for 7 years, Yang Jungwon. I wrote a lot of letters to show my love for you. I am always supporting you since you were a trainee. I rejected someone who loves me because of you. I did everything to make you happy but for you."

" But for you, I am still a precious friend to you. It's not 7 seconds, 7 minutes, 7 months- it's 7 years, Jungwon-ah. Why is it so hard for you to understand my feeling?"

" This is not Im Soo Ah that I know." He shortly said to me.

" What do you expect from me? Chasing after you? Writing those stupid letters for you? Going to the park with you? Eating ramen with you? Adoring the moon with you? Oh... I am really tired. I am tired of waiting. I am tired of showing my love for you. I am tired of getting hurt. The pain- do you know how hurt is it?" I fell to the ground and cried harder because the situation hit me hard. I feel stupid- I am telling him about my true feeling although I know it's useless to explain them to him. He will always look for Hana at the end of the day.