The Weight - Shawn Mendes

35 - The Weight

Shawn.

I drove back home feeling proud of myself. Riley enjoyed herself and i know this because she was laughing a lot during mini-golf, which she always wanted to go. She also liked the necklace which i bought for her. It felt natural acting like i was a couple with Riley because i still had feelings for her. She is the most beautiful person I've ever met, inside and out. And i wish she would see how much I'm trying to change for the better. It honestly felt like a dream being able to hold her hand and hug her today.

My family and I had dinner together as my mom cooked spaghetti which was delicious. I helped to clean up after and went straight to bed. All the mini-golf and laughing really knocked me out. Although i was last place, seeing Riley's smile made me feel like i won. I went to bed thinking about today and how glad i am to be able to overcome so much with Riley, and I couldn't have asked for more.

"You're inside my head,
In the middle of the night when i don't feel right
I dream i can hold you
And i can't go back to you, anymore."

The sun started streaming into my room and i was awoken by that. The lyrics had popped into my head while i was sleeping, and it was perfect for my song. I quickly grab my notebook and pen, and write it down before i forget. Not everything in the lyrics are true because i do want to go back to Riley, and be together with her. But it just fit the songs, and describes how i felt when we had that huge argument. Those nights I couldn't sleep because all i could think about was how stupid i was for letting Riley go and not telling her the truth about what happened between Britney and I sooner. I'm glad that Britney and I are no longer friends, I'm not even sure if that was what we were in the first place. She was nice for convincing me to do what I wanted at that time which was to hang out with Riley, but she kissed me and when i pulled away, she said i was a waste of time. I guess she was just using me.

I put the song together but something was missing, a bridge. I wanted to continue playing the guitar and thinking of lyrics but i was interrupted by my stomach grumbling. I washed up and went down to look for food but there was nothing in the fridge. I shouted for my mom but realised that today is Sunday, which meant that my parents were probably out sending Aaliyah to cheer practice. I quickly go back to my room and changed into something more presentable and go to Riley's house. I wore my khakis and a black top paired with my vans, and sprayed some cologne. I grabbed my phone, wallet, and car keys and left.

I pull up to Riley's house and run up to her door. I knock on it, and she opens the door. "Hey, what's up?" She greets me. "Can we hang out?" I ask and she nods and gestures me to come in. "I'm hungry." "This house ain't a restaurant you know." She jokes and i laugh. "You're lucky my parents cooked today." She says as we walk towards the catch. She pulls out the salmon with broccoli on the side and heats it up. "I sure am lucky." I answer while looking at her. I notice her cheeks flush red, she's cute when she's shy. She sets the plate up and we dig in. "That was delicious." I tell her while rubbing my belly. I take her plate and insist on doing the dishes, since she set it up.

"I need help with my song." I start while washing the dishes. "How may i help you?" She asks while staring at me which makes my heart race. "I'm almost done, but I'm stuck at the lyrics for the bridge." "Hm, let me show you something." She grabs my hand after I finish washing and leads me to the backyard. "I like to swing on the swing when I can't focus or just need some alone time." Of course she brought me to the swing her dad built for her when she was younger. I know that the swings hold a lot of memories for her, good and bad. She would swing at the swing to escape from reality, and thats what i needed right now.

We both sit down at each swing and started swaying slowly back and forth in silence. It was a comforting silence, not the awkward kind which i enjoyed. "Thanks a lot Riley." I utter. "For what?" "For everything." "Thank you too Shawn." She replies and i nod. "Can i tell you something?" I say as i turn to face her. "Yesterday felt like a dream, a good one, to have you in my arms. I know it was just pretend for Roy, but i hope that one day we could be together again. I know we just became friends again, so let's take it slow." I spill. "I feel the same Shawn. Let's take things slowly." "Promise?" I ask her and she replies, "Promise." It's kind of ironic how i broke up with her on this swing, and now we're promising to take things slow and hopefully be together again someday. I fully regret breaking up with her, but it's true what they say, you don't realise what you have until its gone.

Hours have passed by which we spent talking. It felt nice spending time with Riley. I believe that everything we've been through has taught us how to communicate better and to have more trust. "I think i should go home, and finish up the song. Thank you Ri." I say as I stand up. "You're welcome Shawn, I'm always here for you." I step closer to her and hug her. My stomach fills up with butterflies, i love this feeling. 

I went back home feeling happy. My cheeks hurt from laughing and smiling too much, but it felt good. Once i was home, i went up to my room and completed the song, which i am satisfied with.

"I can't lift the weight, no I can't lift the weight
Yeah you stand on my shoulders and my heart just breaks
I can't lift the weight, no i cant lift the weight
Yeah you stand on my shoulders and my heart just breaks
I can't lift the weight, no i can't lift the weight
Yeah you lower your standards and i raise the stakes
I cant lift the weight, no i cant the weight."

I was about to call Riley and tell her that I'm finished with the song. I was so excited to show her, and i want to keep my promise that she'll be the first to hear it. I look at my phone and realise its past midnight. It's too late to call her, and besides i don't want my neighbours to complain about the noise. I decide that I'll call her and tell her tomorrow, that'll be the first thing i do.

Authors Note!

Yay Shawn and Riley are slowly building their relationship back. I didn't want to rush anything because i want it to be realistic. And also Shawn finally finished the song he's writing, i know its not a love song but it shows what him and Riley have been through. I like that there's growth in their relationship and character development. Both of them are maturing and learning together to become better. I hope y'all like the book because i am honestly liking the characters and the plot.