The Weight - Shawn Mendes

28 - Guilt

Riley.

At Shawn's house, we made pancakes and ate it with maple syrup. I really missed those days when we were together and we'd bake muffins. But things change, and although we kissed last night, it feels to soon to get back together. Especially because i want Shawn to forgive Darren. It's just that i think Darren would remain as a good friend of mine, and i want Shawn to be okay with that.

"Riley?" Shawn calls me, and I'm immediately snapped out of my thoughts. "Sorry, what were you saying?" "I was asking whether you wanted to go back home, you seem kinda tired." "Yeah, okay. Let me grab my stuff." I say and head up to his room. I started packing my stuff into my bag and go back down. "Ready to go?" Shawn asks and i nod. We head out to his Jeep and like a gentleman he is, he opened the door for me. I think he formed that habit when we started dating, it feels weird that he's doing it for me again despite us not dating, but at the same time it feels right.

After a 5 minute drive, we arrived at my house. "Thank you for today, and driving me home. Text me when you get back home okay?" I say. He kisses my cheek and leaves. That kinda gave me goosebumps, the good kind. Our relationship right now is at a confusing stage, but I'll take it. It's better than not being able to see him for 2 weeks.

*1 week later*

I've been going over to Darren's for awhile now. I just want to take care of him. Despite him saying that it was his fault for driving recklessly, I can't help but think about how its my fault that he went for a drive in the first place. If only i answered the damn texts.

"What's up?" I say as i enter his room. "Hey" he replies, dragging the y. "No offence, i love you coming here and all, but you can stop now." He says in a serious tone as he sits up from his bed. I look at him confused, "What are you trying to say?" "What I'm saying is that, you've been coming here everyday! Please go out and have fun. I'm fine, really." He smiles sweetly. "Okay. Let me just check up on you once in awhile?" I plead and he nods. I put the cookies that i brought down and turn around.

"Hold up!" Darren exclaims, causing me to face him again. I scrunch my eyebrows and cross my arms. "Since you're already here, just stay." He asks. I laugh and walk towards his bed, and scoots to give me some space. "What do you wanna do?" I ask. "Do you want to watch a movie or play some games?" "Movie!" I exclaimed. "Okay, how about Avengers?" "Sounds good." We both went under the covers, and snacked on the cookies while watching the movie. It felt nice how we're just chilling, and how i get to help him when he needs me to. Simple things like eating and catching the crumbs is hard for him when he has got a broken arm.

Halfway into the movie, my phone beeped. It was a text from Shawn, it read "Can i come over?" I quickly type back "Now? Is it an emergency?" "No, just wanted to see you :)" that text made me smile, and my heart race. But i glanced over at Darren and see him enjoying the movie, and i didn't want to leave him halfway through, that would be rude of me. "I'm hanging out with Darren right now, maybe later?" "Ok" he replies.

I couldn't concentrate on the rest of the movie, I feel pretty guilty for putting a hold on hanging out with Shawn. But I'll feel worse if i left Darren alone. I hope Shawn's not mad at me, I'm sure he understands. 

Shawn.

I cant believe she's saying she wants to hang out with Darren first then meet me? She has been going over to his house every single day after the accident, and I understand that. But its been a week, and i miss her so badly. Since i had some time before i could go over to her house, I decided to pull out the guitar and continue writing the song

"Tell me you were happier with him
But you want me to stay
And you tell me that you needed time
But you push me away
And then you try to take me back
My heavy hearts breaks
No i cant lift the weight"

After a few hours, i finished writing the chorus. I put the first verse, the chorus, and the melody together and it sounded perfect. Now i just needed a second verse, and a bridge. Honestly, this made me feel a lot better. It was so satisfying seeing the song finally coming together, and i could express how i felt about the situation I'm in.

As i was about to start thinking about the second verse, my phone lit up. It was a text from Riley, saying i could come over now. Although i felt quite shitty that she chose Darren over me, i also felt quite happy about the song I'm currently writing. I hope that things become better between us, i cant wait to call her mine again. I regret breaking up with her before going to Magcon. At that time, i thought that was the best thing for us as i was going to be gone for 2 weeks. But now i know that i made the biggest mistake of my life, because i lost the most important person.

Authors Note!

Thanks so much for reading until now but OMG i cant believe I'm #28 under Shawn Mendes?! That's crazy. I started writing this back in 2017 but i never finished it. And since 2021, i decided to get back to Wattpad, rewrite and finish the book. I am so glad i did that because wow #28???

I wish i could give everyone a hug, so here's a virtual hug for everyone hehe. Stay safe and please vote!