How deep is the lake. ( Draco Malfoy story 18+ )

The Encounter.

Trigger warning.this story and this chapter talks about abuse, self harm, alcoholism, body image and other content that is 17+.  Please always take care of yourself and know that these topics and more will be talked about in this story.
Hi this is the author obvs. I promise my writing gets better :)

I sat at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. It was late. 12:34 am to be exact. I wore a t-shirt for the first time in my six years at Hogwarts. Hoping no one would walk into the great hall and see the scars that covered my back, arms and shoulders. Some scars had crept their way around my stomach, and more were hidden on my legs.

I had my robe with me. Just in case anyone was awake. in case anyone saw. I had tried my best to keep my body hidden during school the past six years. I always had long sleeves, a hoodie, the hood on my robes covering my neck.  I always had something to keep myself hidden.

Dumbledore had given me a private dorm so I wouldn't have to share a room with someone. So that I had a room that I could be open with myself. I spent the holidays at Hogwarts every year. I practically hadn't left the school since I arrived. I promised myself I was never going back to my fathers house. And not having a mother to go to didn't leave me much choice other than to stay at Hogwarts. It didn't bother me that I practically had no family. Mother left when i was young. She left me alone with my drunken mess of a 'father'. It was cruel the things he did. I still had the memories. The nightmares. They never left.

The sound of shoes against the cold floor snapped me back to the moment and pushed my memories. I swung the robe around my shoulders and fiddled with the clasp before tying it and putting up my hood. I looked up to see pansy in her nightgown run down towards me.

'Vee! I thought I saw you sneak out of the common rooms' She whispered as she gracefully took her seat across from me.
Oh god she was beautiful. Her slick black bob framed her face perfectly. Her slender arms crossed one over the other. 'Blaise said he heard someone leave so I checked up on you and you weren't in your dorm. Aren't you scared one of the professors would catch you' I giggled at her words.

Even if I was caught, and a professor sent me to Dumbledore, he wouldn't do anything. He knows I need my time to be alone, outside of my dorm. He really. wouldn't fucking care. Just like every one else. I just smiled and turned to her and replied

' Unlike most other Slytherins Dumbledore does seem to like me. He doesn't really care what I do.'

Pansy reached over the table to hold my hand. I quickly grabbed my robe with the other hand and out on top of the arm that held her small hand. The robe covered my scars. I really had kept myself hidden all this time. even from pansy. She was basically my only friend. The only person I slightly trusted.

'Are you sure you ok Venus ? Why are you down here by yourself you must be frozen?'

I smiled at her softly. She had no reason to worry. I was here because i was scared to sleep. Scared of what the nightmares would bring this time.

' Yes Pansy I'm fine. I promise. I just couldn't sleep, so I went for a walk. But I stopped to sit and watch the ceiling.' Her laugh echoed in the hall.

' Ever since you sat down next to me on your first day in Hogwarts you have been fascinated with this ceiling.' I shook my head and remembered my first day of school. I started later than the other first years at the time. Dumbledore thought it would be best for me to adjust before I sat with a group of witches and wizards .
' And??' I responded as i stared up at the ceiling. ' You cant deny that its fucking cool pansy. look at it. It's snowing.' I replied in awe. The ceiling was snowing.
'Yes. it is. and its fucking freezing because of it.' she sighed and looked at me and moved her head to the door
' C'mon lets get back to bed Vee before you freeze your tits off.' We both laughed and stood up and walked back to our common room.

The stairs fascinated me too. They moved. The stairs moved, the paintings talked, and the ceiling snowed. I was used to a muggle life. I guess somethings never change.                       

'Evening Parkinson, Smith' A voice let out in a deep laugh. I snapped my head up as he said 'Smith'. The 6'1 Platinum blonde boy stood before us. Draco Malfoy. Pansy laughed at him

' And what are you doing out of your dorm so late Draco?'Pansy joked with him. He kept looking at me. Why was I flustered? It was Malfoy? He never spoke to me.
I nodded to acknowledge him.
'Hey Malfoy' I said quietly. God Venus why are you fucking flustered.

I watched the paintings as the stairs moved. I let Pansy and Draco have their conversation. I just stood to the side. They both probably thought I was being awkward. In truth I didn't feel awkward. I was used to people having conversations in front of me, but not including me in them. I wasn't feeling awkward. More confused and disappointed.

Why was I so flustered around him. And why only now? I had known him the past six years. We just used to acknowledge each other in the halls when we passed each other. I would see him at the common room. and I always saw him when the Slytherin's were throwing a party. I never went of course. Short, sleeveless revealing dresses wasn't something I really enjoyed wearing. Not when I was covered in scars.

I felt eyes burning into the back of me. I looked over my shoulder to see which one of them were staring. Pansy had her back to me and was blabbering on to Draco about something idiotic Blaise had done. And Malfoy wasn't paying attention. He was staring at me. Dead in the eye. When he saw he had my attention he shifted his eyes to my left arm. I was leaning on the stairs. My arms propped me up. My left arm was out from under the robe. The white stripes that covered my arm were no longer hidden.

' Oh fuck' I muttered as I dropped my arm under my robes and turned back to face Pansy and Draco as the stairs came to a stop at our common room. I pushed through the two of them and mumbled the password to the painted and rushed back to my dorm.

My favourite thing about Pansy is that she never chased me if I ran off. She would usually give me until the next morning before she checked up on me. Probably so that I could calm myself down. Why on earth did Malfoy make me so flustered tonight? Why why why? And why was he looking at me long enough to see my scars anyways.

I wondered what he thought. Did he think I did it to myself? Did he think it was someone else's doing? To be honest. Both of those answers were right. As I said, Dad was a drunken mess. And he was always angry. And I was just a mess. But they're still scars. I don't do that anymore. God  he'll tell someone. Everyone would know. Everyone. I sunk down into the bed. no one can know.

I'll have to speak with him at break fast in the morning. The thought of it made my stomach churn. I never spoke about it before. And the first time I do will be with Malfoy.

The bed was soft. My grey sheets covered my body as I fell asleep thinking about how I would have to talk to Draco Malfoy for basically the first time. about my scars.