Namely, it's their fault

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Distributor note; the author has a different format for the series than I do so things got lost and I got behind so to make up for it, double upload!

It began as a normal day. Harry finished the last of his summer homework and was now in the library asking Kreacher questions between his usual duties. Today was one of the elf's more chatty days, and Harry was enjoying the stories of Sirius and Regulus when they were younger. Sirius came in during the story of him and Regulus changing each other's hair colors much to the dismay of their mother.

"Hey Pup, Kreacher telling you stories again?"

"Hi, Siri! Did you really turn Regulus' hair blue?"

"I did. He deserved it for telling me I'd make a good Hufflepuff." Sirius ruffled Harry's hair as he said this. "Now, come on, it's time for lunch, and then you need to spend some time outside in the fresh air. As much as I love you studying and spending time with lil ole me, you need to spend time outside too. Something about vitamin F or something." Sirius winked.

"It's vitamin D and I've spent lots of time outside. Yesterday we spent all day outside."

"Hey, enough whining. I know I'm not the most adult of adults you could be spending the summer with, but I'm still your guardian and I care about your health. Dusty libraries, no matter how not dusty, are not healthy for twelve year old boys during the summer."

Harry grinned. "Just because you hate libraries doesn't mean they're bad for health."

Sirius laughed. "Come on, Pup. Either way, it's time for lunch. Kreacher somehow managed to make us something while telling you stories."

Harry followed Sirius to the dining room. After they finished eating, Harry headed outside to go to the park down the street. As he climbed on the jungle gym, he thought he saw a pair of big eyes peeking at him through a bush. Shrugging it off as a trick of the light, he continued playing for another hour or so. As he was walking home, a house elf he didn't recognize popped up in front of him.

"What are you doing, popping up in the middle of a muggle street!" Harry hissed.

"Dobby is sorry, Dobby must speak with Harry Potter sir!" the little creature said.

"That's fine, but you can't just pop out in the middle of muggle London!" Harry whispered frantically. "Come on, let's find somewhere we can talk without being seen."

Dobby followed Harry into an alleyway, where Harry looked around carefully, then turned to the house elf. "Now. Why do you need to speak with me?" Harry asked.

"Dobby must tell Harry Potter not to go back to Hogwarts this year!"

"And why must I not go to Hogwarts?"

"Dobby cannot say exactly," the little creature hedged.

"And what can you tell me?"

"There is great danger at Hogwarts!"

Harry snorted. "When is there not," he muttered.

"Harry Potter must not return to Hogwarts this year!"

"Ok. I can't promise not to go back to Hogwarts, but I can promise to be extra careful and never go anywhere alone. I can also tell Sirius about the danger at Hogwarts, and he can help too."

Dobby nodded sadly. "If that is what Harry Potter insists." He popped away, and Harry hurried home. He had a lot to tell Sirius.

"Sirius!" he called as soon as he entered the house.

"What's up, Pup?" the answer came from the sitting room.

Harry sat on the couch next to Sirius and curled up next to him. "I met a house elf named Dobby. He said I shouldn't go back to Hogwarts. I told him I'd tell you about it. He said something about great danger."

"When is there not," Sirius muttered.

"That's what I said!" Harry grinned. "I also promised him that I wouldn't go anywhere alone."

"Good plan, Pup." Sirius said. "Now, I do believe it's nearly time for dinner. Do you want me to make something or do you want Kreacher to make something?"

"Can I make something?"

"Sure, Pup. How long will it be? Or do you want help?"

"If you want to help me make that curry you said dad liked?"

"Of course, let's go see what we have. We should have everything."

They enjoyed an evening of cooking and cuddling while reading. Eventually Harry fell asleep on Sirius' shoulder and Sirius gently carried him to bed, tucking him in.

The letters arrived, and Les Amis set up a date to go buy their supplies. They met in Diagon Alley and split up to get the stuff quicker. They all met back up at Flourish and Blotts, where there seemed to be some kind of event going on. Harry groaned at the sight of the crowd inside, and turned puppy eyes on Sirius.

"Do I have to go in there, Padfoot?"

Draco snorted inelegantly next to him, earning him a gentle swat from his mother. "Yes, Baklava, you need to go in the book store. There's no way I'm carrying your books for you, and there's definitely no way I'm letting you stay out here while we all face whatever is happening in there."

Harry sighed, but he was smiling. Ron's little sister, Ginny he thought her name was, looked between Draco and him with a little hidden grin. He wondered what that was about. He shrugged and turned away. "Fine," he groaned. "But I'm making you hold my books for the pain you're causing me."

Draco grinned. "That's likely. I just said I wasn't carrying your books, Gordetta."

"Wow, two last name uses," Neville broke in. "That's the cue we've been waiting for to go in."

The kids all laughed and entered the store. Harry was instantly barraged by a wave of sound and pictures of a blond man who looked like he was trying too hard. The blond man was at the front of the store seemingly making a speech of some kind. Harry tried to slip behind some bookshelves, looking for the books on his list, but the ponce at the front of the room saw him first.

"Well I'll be, is that Harry Potter?"

Harry groaned, "Gradient." Ron snickered beside him and shoved him up to the front of the room when the blond thing motioned him up. Harry shot a glare at his supposed friend.

"Hello, Harry. Can I call you Harry? Well anyway, I want you to be the first to hear officially. I'm going to be your Defense Against the Dark Arts professor! And you get a free copy of all my books, which are the textbooks for this year!"

Harry was so confused. Who was this man? Why did he think he could just call him Harry?

"Oh perfect! A photograph! This'll make the front page for sure!"

Harry desperately wanted out of the strange hold the man had on him. He felt a little uncomfortable in the man's grip. He shot a pleading glance at Sirius, who began moving up towards him.

"Gilderoy Lockhart," Sirius said tonelessly. "What a pleasure. If you would relinquish your hold on my godson that would be much appreciated."

"Oh yes, it is a pleasure for you," The newly named Lockhart said, not letting go of Harry. Harry squirmed a little, trying to get out of the grip. "Who are you again?"

"Sirius Black, and you are making my godson uncomfortable. Let go of him and we can all be on our separate ways. He still has some packing to do, you understand."

Lockhart finally released Harry, who practically ran over to his friends. He practically shoved the books given to him by Lockhart into Ginny's cauldron, not wanting anything to do with the books that the man personally touched. Finally, they were able to escape the store, and Harry turned his puppy eyes back on Sirius.

"See, Padfoot, I knew I shouldn't go in there."

Sirius sighed. "Come on, Pup, I think it's curry night, and you do actually need to pack."

Harry grinned and waved to his friends, then grabbed ahold of Sirius' arm, the two of them disappearing with their purchases back to their home.

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