One Day They'll Know Your Name

Name that sound

AN - So uh, warning for short and kinda badly written sorta panic attack? Google was helpful, but I've never had one, so this is probably super not realistic.

Sirius was pale as he closed Harry's letter and reached for Remus'. A rat Animagus in the school sounded like too much of a coincidence for Sirius to like it. His hands shook a little bit as he took a deep breath and opened Remus' letter.

Dear Padfoot,

Harry promised he'd write you, but if you're reading mine first, which I guess depends on if the letters get sent at the same time or not, there's a rat Animagus at the school. It could just be another student, and I really hope it's just some student becoming an Animagus behind the professors' backs like you did, but I don't believe that much in coincidences. I truly hope it's not Peter, please gods don't let it be Peter, but until I see the rat and know it's not him, I'm going to assume it's him. It's probably safer that way.

Don't come to Hogwarts. I'll make sure Harry doesn't go anywhere alone. I'll try to catch him, just please don't come to Hogwarts like I know you're thinking of.

Stay low and stay safe, it's the best thing you can do for everyone right now.

Love,

Moony

Sirius let out a shaky breath he didn't know he'd been holding. Remus writing had just confirmed his fears, and he wanted nothing more than to storm Hogwarts and kill the rat bastard, and barring that, get Harry out of there, but Remus' words made him think. Going to Hogwarts wouldn't help anything unless he was sure he could help. For all he knew it was actually just a student.

He couldn't make himself believe that though. It would be just Harry's luck that that rat was Wormtail. Sirius stood up and began pacing. What could he do? Should he just ignore Remus' warning and go to Hogwarts anyway? Or would that just put Harry and Remus in more danger?

His breath hitched, lungs burning as his pacing quickened. What could he do?

*****************

He pulled the next book from the shelf. He was so close! He had almost all the pieces, he could feel it! But he had nothing solid, and none of the pieces fit together well. Pieces of a soul scattered, at least once, and those bits all in objects. But what was the connection? How could he get rid of them?

He flipped through the book quickly, finding nothing that would help, and grabbed another book from the shelf and began reading. He grew more and more frustrated with each sentence, borderline manic as he threw the book at the nearest offending wall. The jarring bang it gave as it bounced knocked sense back into him and he froze. Panic rose as he heard the previous scuffling from above pause.

*********************

Sirius was damn near close to fainting as he wore himself thin pacing in tight circles, only to almost actually faint when a loud bang rung from beneath his feet. His first thought was that it might be Kreacher, but Sirius had never heard him make a sound before, and the only floor below him was....

He took a deep breath, feeling his lungs burn as he realized where the sound must have come from. The basement. The only floor in the house he didn't go to, and the only floor in the house he didn't allow Harry to. There were too many bad memories there, and if he went down there he wasn't sure if he'd be able to come back up without a panic attack or three. The basement had been his... Walburga's favorite place to discipline her children, according to her. Sirius called it something else.

No other sounds emerged from the basement, and Sirius was tempted to just leave it be, it couldn't possibly be that bad, right? But he knew he'd have to look. Kreacher never made noise, and if there was a creature down there or something he had to let it out.

He took a step closer and felt his lungs tighten as he remembered the last time Walburga had dragged him through that door and down the stairs. Somehow she found out about Remus. It wasn't bad enough that he had a boyfriend, no, he just had to pick a werewolf boyfriend. Sirius could almost laugh at how ridiculous the old hag sounded if he wasn't so terrified of the punishment he'd receive. Even then, the lashes he got left him unable to lay on his back for a week. Once he healed, he'd packed his bags and left for James' house and never looked back.

With each step his breath came in shorter and shorter gasps, but he made himself keep going. As he came to a stop in front of the door, he tried to force himself to open the door but found himself gasping in pain. His heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest, and he felt like he was going to throw up if he took that last step towards looking into that room.

Sirius took a step back, his hands shaking. He had to calm down. He thought back to what the mind healer had said when he was still having panic attacks a lot of the time. He had to breath, and that would help. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before stepping forward and grabbing the doorknob.