The new girl.

Chapter 19

Rory POV.

"Marshall...what are you doing here?"  I asked again and stepped back so he wouldn't come any closer. He noticed this and let out a small sigh and stopped, he looked me in the eyes as he put both hands in his pants pockets.

"I just..I don't know Rory, I can't pretend to be like nothing knowing that you hate me"  I watched as he bit his bottom lip letting me notice that he was a little nervous maybe. "I don't know, I'm here on an impulse."

I stayed quiet and crossed my arms, I didn't know what to say really. All these days I had been thinking about him and this whole situation but right now my mind was blank.

I noticed how his gaze lowered from my face to my body and I saw how the corners of his lips lifted a little bit trying to smile but as always, he hid his smile.

"Is that my shirt?" he asked me still with his gaze on my body and I felt him move down to my legs staying there for a few seconds but his gaze returned to my eyes.

"It's very comfortable to sleep in" was all I could say trying to excuse myself to him why I was wearing it although he didn't ask that, I just didn't want to look more pathetic than he surely already considered me.

"I like that you keep wearing it, I didn't lie when I said it looked great on you" again his gaze went down my body but now quickly.

Again a silence returned and it was awkward, I didn't know what to say and he seemed very comfortable with his gaze on my face even though it made me very nervous.

"Is that all? You wanted to come and tell me that I looked good in your t-shirt and that you didn't want me to hate you?" I asked confused after a while of silence.

"You hate me Rory?" only there I dared to look him in the eye and it was a mistake, his eyes showed me fear at what could be my answer.

Only then did I consider his question...did I hate him? I didn't know, all these days I had had a lot of emotions but I hadn't put myself to analyze if I really hated him as I should.
My mind began to reason, I started to think about everything and finally decided to speak.

"I don't know, I don't think I hate you but I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that it didn't hurt me what you did..what you said" I mumbled sincerely and my eyes went back to the floor of my room.

"I want us to be friends Rory, I know it's kind of fucked up after what happened but I never meant to hurt you, I didn't mean to" I felt him move a little closer to me but still respecting my space. I gave him a look, I didn't know whether to believe him or not but apparently he understood my look.

"You have to believe me Rory, I know the way I went back to Kim without telling you anything wasn't the right thing to do but I never lied to you, I didn't promise you things and I was always truthful to the fact that I still loved her"

And he was right, looking into his eyes and listening to him I realized that it wasn't his fault, he didn't promise me a relationship....

"I understand if you don't want to be my friend Rory but I would really like to have you in my life, I'm a selfish fucker and I need The Peace you give me, that peace I felt those weeks with you I never felt in my whole life."

Again an awkward silence appeared at least for me, I didn't know what to say to him but I had a lot to talk about, I just needed to sort out my thoughts. After a while I spoke...

"We were fine marshall, what we had I think was going well and it hurt me a lot to know that I was really just your distraction from Kim" I noticed how he was about to speak and quickly raised my hand to stop him from speaking "let me finish..." I let out a sigh  "despite that, I believe you when you say you didn't want to hurt me, I was warned not to get in between the strange relationship you have with Kim and I didn't listen, it's my fault I feel this hurt"  I ran a hand through my hair to push it aside "I guess it didn't hurt me what you did, if not what you said because for me it meant a lot, you were my first kiss, you were the first person I let touch me" I whispered the last as if someone could hear me even though it was just Marshall and me.

"Rory what I said about that..."

I moved closer to put my finger on his lips preventing him from speaking "if you want us to be friends then here and now forget what happened, I don't want us to ever talk about it again" to me it had been wonderful and I didn't want to hear him say that it meant nothing, that it had been something normal for him, that's why I had interrupted him "I want us to be okay  because we have two friends in common who love each other and I don't want their relationship to be affected because of us."

I watched as Marshall took my hand from his mouth so he could speak but he didn't let go, he held his hand with mine

"Just because of DeShaun and Sharonda you want to be my fucking friend?" I noticed he had taken a little offense at that idea.

"Mostly yes" I mumbled sincerely "but I like you too, I just need time to get used to being your friend."

Marshall relaxed and gave me a small smile, without hesitation I felt his arms wrap around me " take as much fucking time as you need, I just don't want you to hate me, whoever but not you Rory."

Slowly my arms also  went to hug him and I let out a small sigh with my face in his chest, I didn't know if it was a good idea to be friends with him but I couldn't say no to him, I never could.

OCTOBER 16, 1992.

I smiled looking at the small space in my room, I had pizza and a small cake. I looked at the time and it was 11:56 pm, it wasn't long now.

I heard three little knocks on my window and I smiled even more, I quickly went to open the window to meet those beautiful blue eyes, I quickly stepped aside and he came into my room through the window, just like the last few weeks.

As soon as he was inside my room I could tell he was watching everything I had done.

"Rory..you didn't have to do this"  he gave me a smile and a big one.

"Sure I did, in a few minutes you are a year older and since I can't come to your birthday party I did this"  I pointed to where there was a blanket on the floor, two cushions and food next to his cake.

"You can go to my party, you know that" he looked at me raising an eyebrow.

"I don't want to get in trouble with her Marshall and I don't want to cause you trouble, it's your party and your girlfriend has to be there."

Yeah, I wouldn't go to the party because Kim would be there, Marshall and I had been friends for weeks, he came over almost every night to hang out, we talked about everything as usual. My mom had no idea.

I looked at my watch and noticed the time, it was 12:00 am, it was already October 17 and it was officially his birthday.

"Happy birthday Marshall"  I reached over to hug him and felt him quickly hug me back "I wish you the best in the world" I mumbled sincerely into his chest.

"Thank you Rory..you're the best" I felt his face hide in my neck now, it had been so long since we had hugged like that and it felt so good.

I broke away from the hug to take his hand and sit on the blanket, in front of all the food and decided to give him his present.
He saw me with a smile and a raised eyebrow, he started to open his present and I smiled seeing his huge grin

"You're fucking kidding right?" I watched as he pulled out the album I had just given him "Rory, this is the best fucking gift" I felt him hug me again.

"You deserve it, you've been telling me about this album for weeks" I said amused "now let's eat before the pizza gets cold."

I smiled at him and noticed how he looked at me deeply, smiling and I swore he had never smiled so much at me before.
Without further ado we started to eat while he talked to me about hip hop as usual but it didn't bother me, I was even starting to like that kind of music and I could listen to him talk for hours.