Living in misery. (Tommyinnit)

T W E N T Y F O U R

TW SelfHarm

'Do it.'

But I've been clean for over a month. They'll be so disappointed.

'I dont care tommy. Do it.' Jschlatt whispered to me in my head, a sinister tone rolling off his tongue.

I looked down at the shiny piece of sharpened metal, turning it over a few times.

'Do it...' his voice chuckled. I could feel myself deteriorating. I shut my eyes, putting the silver to my arm.

Chuckling from the man morphing to laughter. But not happy laughter.

Crazed, bloodthirsty laughter filling my thought sending splitting pain through my head.

Its so loud.

Shut up.

Shut up.

SHUT UP.

I opened my eyes as i dragged the blade across my arm, tears pouring down my face. The horridly loud laughter turned to sadistic cackling, demanding more blood, more release. I could feel my mentality crumbling. My pristine white headspace, parts falling in, vines growing, walls becoming off white.

"Just one more..." i whispered moving the metal and forming another cut. Before i realized i was doing it again. And again, and again, unable to stop myself. The sweet silvers bite relieving the pain i had been bottling in.

I saw my arm, bleeding. How many times had i cut? I wiped away the blood and began to count, through teared eyes.

1...

2...

3...

4...

13.

13 horizontal cuts painted my arm. I pulled down my hoodie sleeve before curling up against the door i was sat against. My arm really hurts.

~~~

"W-wil?"

"One sec you guys." He laughed to his call. "Yeah toms whats up?" He asked deafening himself.

"I- Oh im sorry i didnt realize you were busy. Im sorry." I said beginning to back out of the door.

"No no, Toms your fine. Whats the matter? Why are your eyes all puffy?"

"Wil..."

"Yeah Toms talk to me."

"I-I made a mistake... Can you help me please..." I muttered, lifting my sleeve to show the one i trust, ignoring the crazed internal laughter induced headache currently ripping my head apart.

Wil stared in pity and disbelief. "Oh tommy..." he said getting up and pulling me into a hug.

"The bathroom. Lets go. There should be stuff in there." He said leading me to the bathroom. He wasnt mad. He seemed disappointed.

He had me sit down on the counter while he pulled out gauze and tape and tubes of stuff i had no knowledge of. After cleaning the cuts off, putting some kind of medicine cream i assumed, he began silently wrapping my arm, finishing the wrap off with tape to secure it.

"Need some Advil for the pain?" He asked holding the bottle. I nodded and he handed me two of the pills. It was less for my arm more for my headache.

"Take 'em with water and go get some rest. Its 2 am." He said hugging me once more and exiting the downstairs bathroom.

I fixed a glass of water, taking the two pills, the trudged back up to my room. I could hear Wilbur kick or hit something then a small sniffle.

Im so sorry...