AGLOW [L.T]

14

I was thousands of metres up in the air, comfortably sitting next to Sophie in the armchair. I was wrapped in a blanket as I had my grey hood up over my head. As soon as I got on the plane I collapsed on the armchair and have been sitting here ever since. My main focus has been to not throw up.

I had my short legs, with my black sweatpants in front of me. I decided to travel in my fuzzy socks today and I kicked off my shoes as soon as I could. I wrapped myself in the blanket and leaned against my arm, trying to sleep for the past hour. I have another hour to go.

Sophie next to me seemed to feel a bit better, but she didn't really drink as much as I did last night. After the fight I felt like I was sobering up already. I'ts crazy how fast your body can do that by just sensing that you have to be serious.

The car ride back to the hotel was awkward and quiet. No one said a word. Niall looked out the window, Liam and Harry was still on each side of Louis, who was sitting slouched forward leaning on his knees.

Sophie held on tight to my arm and my hand all the way back, she seemed worried, but I don't think it was for me yelling at Louis. She never told me to calm down or tried to stop me. I think she understood.

I still felt really bad over yelling at Louis. He tried to help me, and he ended up in an unnecessary fight. We could have walked away from there and continued our night, but he just had to start punching the guy. I understand it was to teach him a lesson, and it was for me, but I really don't feel like we should have avoided the violence.

I don't want to seem ungrateful, I really appreciate him stepping in. It could have ended really badly if he hadn't. I just wished he hadn't punched the guy. He was going to let me go and I wished we just left.

In the car I was thinking about a way to apologize, I said I was sorry for hoping in the car, but he just looked at me with eyes full of emptiness. He seemed so empty of emotions when we got out of there. He didn't yell at me for yelling at him, he didn't get mad at me for pushing him and he just looked at me the entire time.

He barely said anything, when he actually said something he snapped for a short second before going back to his calmer state he was just in. I feel like normally he should have had more reaction to me pushing him. Twice.

Guilt was flooding over me the entire night after that. As soon as we got out of the car Liam asked Harry to take Louis to his room. I don't know why he couldn't go there himself, but that is none of my business. He also gave Harry a white pill bottle before they left, the same one Louis threw back in the bus, that Liam had to pick up by my feet.

They hurried away while Sophie kept me to ask if I was okay. She asked it with empathy in her eyes as she still held my hand between us. I told her I was and that they guy never got the chance to do anything. She just nodded with sad eyes. I think she felt bad for me, even though I told her it was no big deal.

In the lift up she brought it up again by saying it's okay if I wasn't okay, that it was still scary and Louis beating the guy really couldn't have been helping that stress. I said it was fine, and honestly it felt good to know that Sophie understood me a little.

I went to my room and the alcohol in my body made me pass out immediately. I actually managed to sleep for an entire night, probably also because of the alcohol. But waking up this morning felt like someone rubbing sandpaper on my brain and my stomach travelling through my body trying to escape.

I still managed to get up and get dressed, pack my bags and be down in the lobby in time. I should have ate more than the salad yesterday before taking a lot of shots. I'm not used to alcohol and I'm pretty tiny which results in being a lightweight.