AGLOW [L.T]

50

TW: mentions of suicide.

AVERY POV: 

My heart is racing when I force my eyes open to see nothing but darkness. I feel like I can't breathe and my legs are giving up on me from beneath me. It feels like the entire universe is spinning around me as I sit down to feel cold under me. 

My eyes eventually get used to the darkness but I'm not any less confused. Everything is a blur around me and I can only hear rushing in my ears. I still can't breathe and I feel the need for air, my mouth falls open trying to get air into my lungs but it feels like something is stopping me from breathing in. 

I close my eyes and pinch them shut trying to get the horrifying images out of my head. When I open them again I see a figure walking towards me, I follow it, still not able to breathe. 

Within a split second it feels like the bubble around me breaks and I can finally get air into my lungs. The rushing in my ears is exchanged by a voice and I can see clearer through my glossy eyes. I feel tears welling up, making it all blurry again. 

"What's happening? Avery? Talk to me!" I feel a strong hand on my shoulder and another one on my arm. I look to the side while trying to catch my breath, seeing Louis look to me with a crease between his eyebrows. 

I look around the room, finding myself in our hotel room, sitting on the floor at the end of the bed. It was dark around us, the only light coming from the light slipping through the curtains covering the window. 

"Did you have a nightmare?" he asks. 

My jaw clenches before I try to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. My breaths are shaky and I feel a tear escaping my eye, rolling down my cheek. It feels warm to my much colder cheek. I look to Louis again, still looking at me like he's in shock and with worry. I give him a quick nod to his question, putting my hand to my chest, feeling my heart still racing. 

He pulls my body closer so I lean my other shoulder to his chest. I feel him place his chin on the top of my head before a sigh escapes through his nose. With every second I feel myself getting my body back. It's shaking, from being cold and from the dream. I know I get like this, I know all of what happens after a nightmare. 

I opened the door. 

When I close my eyes, tears stroll down my cheek. My breath is still shaky but I start to catch y breath again. My entire face is wet from sweat and my palms are even worse. Louis holds me tighter before he starts to run his hands up and down my arms. 

"Do you need anything?" He asks, it's no louder than a whisper. 

Still not feeling able to get any words to leave my lips I shake my head. The tears keep running down my face as I'm not able to erase the pictures that ran through my head. I've been trying to forget them for so long, but I opened the door and I had to go through it again. 

It felt so real...

We sit like this, leaning towards each other, him running his hands up and down my arms in comfort. I don't know for how long, I try to focus on my breath but I can't stop shaking. The tears eventually stopped and when my breath steadied he pulled away. He took my face in his hands turning me to him. 

"It's okay, it wasn't real." He says, looking into my red, puffy eyes. 

That's the problem, it used to be real. 

He leaves a careful and warm kiss to my forehead before he looks at me again, he still held my face in his hands. Unable to say anything I carefully leaned my head into his hand as a simple thank you. It was stupid of me to think the nightmares would just stop.