AGLOW [L.T]

33

I got to sleep a maximum of one hour last night. I had a hard time falling asleep, thinking about what Louis said. I couldn't think of one way he would know about December 18th... no one does. Well now he does.

When I eventually fell asleep I woke up an hour later by another nightmare with my hand on the door out to the hallway.

I showered and re-packed my bag once again while I was thinking about what he said. Mum said that no one will ever have to know, that we won't ever talk about it again, ever. I've erased it from my memory as well as I can and now he knows. He fucking knows. It's a much too specific date for him to just blurt something out.

He knows and now who knows what more he knows? What does he know about it? Does he know it all does he know some of it? The biggest question is still how?

It was constantly on my mind and I couldn't let it go. If he really told my dad, it would be over for me. Not just staying on tour. I wouldn't go to college, I probably wouldn't even go home. A best case scenario would be that he kicks me out to live on the street...

I didn't have to wait forever for people to wake up since we're back on the road today. I am not going on the boys bus today, that's for certain. Sophie can if she wants to but I am staying as far away from them as I can. I might actually study some more. Might as well study ahead.

If my head lets me get that far...

I got dressed and I got my stuff down to the empty lobby. I avoided meeting up with Sophie. I don't want her to ask me to go with the boys for me to have to turn her down and say no. If I don't meet with her then she can go wherever she wants.

I feel bad about not telling Sophie about them. If she knows it's totally her problem but something is really telling me she doesn't. She should know who she's sleeping next to. I want to tell her, so she keeps safe, but after what Louis said I'm not so sure about anything.

"Avery, there's eyes on you everywhere since the second you saw Liam with the gun in Spain..."

I felt uneasy knowing they kept an eye on me. I don't know how but if they do then I am at a dead end. Then there's nothing I can do to save Sophie from Liam without me getting killed or her thinking I'm a terrible person trying to break them up.

I left my bag and got on the bus. The other members acknowledged my arrival with quick nods. They were all tiredly sitting quietly around the table. I can't do this. I just move into the back of the bus where the bunks are. I slide into one of them and get on my phone. I see a text message from Sophie.

Where did you go?

I'm on our bus today, gotta sleep

you could've slept here haha

no it's fine I'll just see you when we get there

Sadly enough I couldn't sleep. I felt exhausted but I couldn't sleep for my life. I put my phone away, closed my eyes and I tried to sleep but after what was probably two hours of thinking the worst I gave up. I just kept thinking about dad would react if Louis really told my dad. Maybe Louis just said that to keep me from not going to the police with what I've seen, or think I know.

For the remaining three hours I was in my bunk listening to music, watching Youtube videos and some lame show I found. I was thinking it would be boring enough to get me to sleep, but nope.

When we got to Philadelphia I was the last one off the bus. I fetched everything that was mine and moved in to the cool lobby. Further in I see Sophie and the boys talking. Dad is up by the reception. My stomach clenched while I hurried up to my dad so I don't have to walk up to the guys.