Life of a teenage creep

Livi-chans' first dance!

That's right, gents, Olivia is going to a social activity! I will be forced to dance with cute boys with good morals and promising futures, and possibly eat sweets and talk with people.

This can go wrong in so many places.

Last night, I realized that I don't dance in front of other people a lot. I dance alone in my room, maybe, but I have no idea who I'll be dancing with or what kind of music. As I said before, this is my first dance.

So, my darling sorella set out to get me to dance.

This did not end well. I flipped my shit over my little sister sitting and staring at me with a haughty look, putting on false airs.

Then, after we figured out that GASP Olivia can dance(kind of), we had to figure out my outfit.

I am so very much hoping that everyone else at 'church dress' dances looks as, well, tasty, as I'm going to. I've got one-inch black heels, black tights, a red-and-black dress with crinoline at the bottom so it flares out, and a black short-sleeve over-sweater, nice and flowy(because the red dress is a halter top, and church standards of dress say no shoulders), along with the red and silver rose jewelry, necklace, pendant pinned at the base of my not-so-high neckline, dangle earrings, etc, and my nails done up in silver sparkles, since red and black are to showy for chewed nails.

In short, I look positively scrumptious, delicious, and I think it scares my mother. My sister tells me, "He goes 90, you go 10," and my mother says "Since this is a church dance, the most you're in for is maybe some boy dragging you out to neck in the parking lot."

I am not worried about date rape. I am very violent and capable of protecting myself, even in heels. I am more likely to commit date rape than to be date raped.

And... Talking. I can talk, once you get me going, but Mutti says no talking about violence, politics, or sex. I adore talking politics. I adore my violent tendencies. I love a good dirty joke. I'm royally scrwqed, right? Apperantly, I'm allowed to talk about entertainment, i.e., anime, books, movies, music. I am pretty well-versed in most of these, though I don't want to come off as a week by rambling about anime... Oh well, YOLO let's have no social life and be the smokin' hot geek girl with big boobs!

Oh, I probably shouldn't talk about my dead dog, either. Fuck.

So, yeah, as much as I wish they'd let me play DJ and spin discs, or that they had karaoke, since I'm confident in my voice, but not my social skills, they don't. The one thing about homeschooling? You don't know any of the people they know when you go places. I suppose I can hijack @witchkatlover and make her dance and talk with me, if she shows up...

Or I could act like we're in Scandinavia and ask a boy to dance. It isn't uncommon there, apparently...

Moving on, I got my Mutti to puty hair up in cornrows for this.

1. Yes, I am white.

2. No, I will not be leaving them in.

I will be taking out the moussed braids, so my hair will be poofy and wavy. I adore the braids, though, and I'll probably end up putting the back in. These things are boss.

Ok, what else... Oh, yeah! I actually put makeup on today! *cornbread ninja voice* Surprise, surprise! The no-nonesense Olivia threw on some light eye-shadow and mascara for the dance!

Someone murder me, I'm being girly. I like being a girl, not being girly. Big dif.

And so I stand all dressed up, ready to leave in five minutes. I suppose I'll have to give y'all a chapter on how my first dance goes...

So, love for my buddies, and adieu. Wish me luck.