Life of a teenage creep

I finally figured it out.

I figured out partly why I like Germany.

Why I squeeze over Lord of War and The Boondocks Saints.

Why I listen to Celtic music and angry heavy metal.

Why I'm crazy for orderly, rule-based, rank-acknowledging, good-behavior-rewarding scheduled life. (Shit, I sound like a Nazi.... I just like the order, though the Nazis took a good thing and pwrverted it, playing on base human nature to take control. Never mind.)

It's because I was raised in a very controls oriented home! I like rules, and set order and when people have the guts 'n glory to get stuff done. I have realized that growing up with a legally psychotic man has given me lots of issues, not just 'daddy issues'. Every day of my life is a strive for control, in one form or another.

I am so weird. Does anyone else do this crap? Am I the only one with an insatiable thirst for power, order, people following rules, and--

Sorry, I forgot Germany. Yes, the order appeals. I like having a set job. I like having a schedule. When I have something to do, I'll work myself to the bone doing it(seriously got three degree burns washing boiling-hot jars lined with hot wax) and I like it.

I need a job. Seriously. I've always wanted a steady job, for as long as I can remember, even though hitting eighteen, which is wayyy too close for comfort, scares me.

I got asked what I wanted a while ago. I said something along the lines of, "I want fourteen kids and to still have my figure. I want a steady, well-paying job, something that I can really work at, like construction. I want a big house and a steady income. I want a husband who I can make lunch for and send him off to work with a kiss on his cheek, and if he's got a good enough job, I would stay home and be a mom to my family. I want to homeschool my kids and have them turn out as brilliant as I am. Granted, I will probably never achieve this, but a girl can dream, right?"

Am I the only female who wants to be female? Never mind. Back to subject.

Where was I... Oh. Life with wonderful, blissful order.

So, yes. I am a control freak, evidently, though I don't outright dominate other people, mostly, unless I really know them...

There you go, guys. If I'm being a controlling weirdo, I probably want to be your friend or something. I don't know, people disgust me. Moving on.

Yup. That's the sum of my breakdown of my own mental status for today. Tune in next time for 'Adventures in Insomnialand', where you hear about the sleep disorders that run in Olivias' family! (Jk, that shit could be boring. I'll tell about me randomly having serial killer thoughts at cats, instead!)

P.S. Oh, it's only part of why you like Germany, you wonder, what is the other part?

Cuz that stuff is downright smexy. #ShamelessGermanophile