dear diary

chapter 27

I did spend more time on my feet today, but only because I decided that I'd be spending the day in the resorts lounge rather than on the slopes.

Blaire offered to hang with me, but I told her that she should go out there and have fun. Just because I can't ski doesn't mean no one else can.

After reading through a few magazines and exploring the different areas of the lounge, I feel my phone vibrate.

Blaire: hey! meet us in the sauna

I text back letting her know I'm on my way, and put the magazines back where I found them.

I make my way towards the sauna, opening the door to find the four of them sitting in there. I sit down, and just as I'm about to ask how their day was, Blaire, Ethan, and Matt all stand.

"We're not opening this door until you guys either hug it out, or at the very least come to terms with what's going on here," Ethan says before the three of them walk out of the sauna and shut the door.

"Happy talking!" Matt yells through the door, lowering the wooden slab that effectively locks us inside.

"Did they seriously just lock us in here?" I say, clinging to my towel as I look at Chase.

Shirtless and glistening, he looks like a God. One that I don't want to face right now.

"Yeah, I think they did," he says, and I sit on the other side of the sauna than him. "Well, I guess we need to talk then," he says, and I shrug.

"Or, we could sit here in silence and hug in 15 minutes pretending we talked," I say, and Chase frowns.

"You really don't want to talk about this that bad?" He says, and I shrug again.

"I don't know what to say, Chase."

"How about you start by telling me exactly how you feel. No bullshit, lay it out on the table for me," he says, and I don't answer.

"Fine, I'll go first. I don't date, Delaney, that's been my thing since freshman year. I've been against it for reasons you're aware of, because everyone I've ever let in has left me, and you're proving my fear right by giving up on this. You've been the easiest person for me to talk to- to just be around. You pissed me off to no end when you first moved here, but I wouldn't have it any other way," He says, and I can feel my heart beat pick up.

"Spending time with you has made something pretty clear to me- that I'd set aside every fear I have if it means I get to be with you. I want to be with you, and only you, and right now you just need to let me," he finishes, and I'm hoping the steam in the room hides the emotion filling my eyes.

"It's your turn now," he mutters, his eyes piercing mine through the thick layer of hot vapor surrounding us.

"I've wanted to hear that for so long, Chase, I really have. I don't know what changed my mind, maybe it was the way I felt seeing you with Mackenzie, or maybe it was the endless thinking I do when I'm alone, but I've talked myself out of this. I'm scared, that's how I feel. I feel like the second I let my guard down, the second I allow myself to be with you, something terrible is going to happen. I feel like I need to play it safe, rather than allow myself to be with you and risk both of us getting hurt," I say, allowing myself to spill some of the truth to him.

"Do you want to be with me, Delaney?" He asks, and I pause to think even though I already know the answer.

"Of course I do, Chase," I whisper, and he stands sit next to me.

"I understand your doubts, but you're an idiot if you don't give this a shot. You told me that you believe in love, but how is that possible if you aren't willing to give it a chance? I put my fears aside and let you in, it's time for you to do the same," he says, his words filled with vulnerability and honesty.