dear diary

chapter 41

Delaneys POV

After finding out that Chase has a fight today, I can't help but worry about whether or not he'll be able to handle it. After reading that email, and watching him struggle with sending the reply, I'm scared he won't be as focused as he needs to be.

I know he's used to these fights, and his undefeated record clearly shows that he can hold his own, but he was hit with something big today and after reading the response from his father he spiraled right back down.

We've been laying together since he read the email, in silence, for about two hours. I'm not sure if he fell asleep, or if he has nothing to say, but the silence is killing me. I'm really nervous about this one.

He reassured me a few times after he told me he had the fight that he'd be fine, but I didn't buy it. Since then it's been nothing but silence, and while it seems he may be resting I know his brain is running as fast as mine is.

What will happen if he loses? What do I do if he gets knocked out, just stand there and wait for him to wake up? I've never been this nervous, not since the last time my father was close.

I look at the clock and realize that it's already six, and Chase had told me we had to leave at around 6:30 to make it there with time to spare.

I lift my head from his chest and look up at him. His eyes are wide open and trained in the ceiling, flicking back and forth as he watches the fan rotate.

He looks lost, and I hate the sight of it.

"Hey," I speak softly as I sit up a little bit, grabbing Chases cheek to turn his head towards me. "We have to leave soon."

He nods absentmindedly, looking away from me and back at the ceiling.

"I think you should reschedule, Chase, your mind is in no condition for this right now," I speak again, unaware of whether or not he's actually listening.

He just hums in response, shifting in his spot until he's sat up with his legs thrown over the side of the bed.

"I'm fine, go downstairs and grab a couple waters. I'll be down in a few minutes," he says, and while I selfishly don't want to leave his side, I do as he asks and leave his room.

After walking down the stairs and grabbing the water, I sit down on one of the chairs around his small kitchen table and rest my head in the palm of my hands.

Are my doubts wrong? I know Chase is experienced in this sort of thing, and that he's done it plenty of times, but isn't he bound to face another loss at some point? Tonight seems like the perfect night for it.

I run my hands down my face and shake my head. I need to stop thinking like this or else I'm going to end up jinxing it. Maybe he'll get someone easy and everything will be fine, and I have nothing to worry about.

Let's go with that, he'll win and everything will be fine.

I hear the stairs creak, pulling me from my thoughts as Chase walks into the kitchen in gym shorts and a tank top. He looks amazing, but I can't ignore the look of solemn in his eyes.

This dinner is really eating at him, which isn't a surprise. His sister whom he's never met before could possibly be dying, if he wasn't sad I'd be concerned.