dear diary

chapter 37

dear diary,

everything is so different now. in ways that I never thought possible, my life has completely changed.

for once, though, it's changed for the better. after a constant stream of kicks in the face and downhill battles, im finally being rewarded with happiness.

i honestly never thought id feel happy again, as sad as that is it's the truth. after the accident, and things with my mother being hot and cold, happiness was a distant relative who I was sure I'd never see again.

here it is though, hopefully it stays for a while and it's not just here for a visit. it's a new feeling, refreshing and something I'd like to hold on to.

last night was the night i realized that i am happy, with Chase in that guest room was the happiest I've been in a while. the night took a sour turn at the campfire, sure, but i didn't let such a thing ruin my happiness.

strength and a few shots of tequila helped me with that.

i don't remember much after that point, me and Chase sort of hit the gas pedal and blacked out. i woke up safe and sound, in my own bed, and im still not sure how exactly I got here.

im not in a rush to find out though. i've also learned that wasting time on things that won't matter in the long run is pointless.

i still haven't touched base with my mother about the money, but i plan on quitting my job. she was right, so was Chase, i don't have the sort of time to be wasting at work when i can be spending it having fun with my friends. besides, i have enough money to keep me floating for now, especially if my mother is actually on my side again.

a lot is still up in the air, but the only thing that ties loose ends is time.

I shut my new diary, my fingers itching to turn to the last page and read Chases second note. My logic is that if I fill the diary quicker I'll be able to read the note, so I plan on writing a lot more than I used to. Besides, it'll probably help me anyway. I've kept a lot of things bottled up since my last diary ran out, it'll be nice to get some things off my chest.

It's Friday morning, I slept past my alarm and I'm pretty hungover. I don't know if any of the others actually went to school today, something tells me a lot of kids are calling out sick. The party got pretty wild, from what I can remember at least.

My head has a pretty steady beat rocking through it, the aftermath of my drinking with Chase baring it's teeth at me through a headache and some nausea. After convincing myself to be productive, I roll out of bed and walk downstairs to take some medicine and get something in my stomach.

When I reach the bottom of the stairs, I see a body on my couch and freeze in my tracks. It's Blaire, passed out with her hair fanning her face and her mouth wide open. She's absolutely knocked.

I'm not sure what she's doing here, or if I invited her, because I literally can't remember. As if I wasn't confused enough, I hear movement in the kitchen and then voices. Three voices, all male. I turn on my heels and walk towards them, seeing Matt, Ethan, and Chase around my counter, making what seems to be pancakes while fooling around. How are they not feeling dead inside?

"I have so many questions right now," I mutter while rubbing my temples, the attention of all the boys turning towards me as they freeze.

"Not sure how many of them are answerable but shoot," Matt continues to stir the batter, my eyes taking in the mess on the counter before I walk towards the cabinet and pull out the pain relief pills.