PRODUCE 101 | c.s + j.wy

IV

"You're not doing your best, San. Do you know what charisma is? Stop staring at the air during your performances."

The voice of San's dad kept echoing in his mind. He couldn't forget the first time he brought him to Taekwondo classes, when he was very little. He still didn't know he could move arms and legs together, at that time. He didn't know what confidence towards your body meant, or even exist at all.

His father had been a very important athlete, and wanted the son to be the same. He had suffocated every other interest San could have in his free time. His life was just full of study, then trainings, until he got a black belt at the age of fifteen.

But he didn't care at all.

The following year, at the age of sixteen, he tried talking to his dad about his interests, about the real pattern he wanted to follow during his life, but he was nothing but ignored.

"Pack your things if you don't like this life. My house, my son, my decisions." He said with firm voice.
Do you really care about me being your son, or you just think I'm a younger version of yourself?

"Then, I'm leaving."

He just couldn't believe he really did take all his belongs (which could actually fit just one big luggage, considering that his closet was full of dobok* more than regular clothing) and left that luxury and urban house, finding himself just wandering in the city to look a place to go to.
He didn't have any friends, any people to rely on. During his whole life, his dad took every decision for him, including the fact that it was a "waste of time to get friends, you need time to train and exercise, not to go out". That's why he decided to throw himself into the first motel he could find, a cheap one, just for some days, in order to look for a job and something to do with his life.

He haven't had much time to consider what to do, but just the idea of having a work and choosing how to spend his own money to do what he wanted to do, seemed a way better life than the previous one.

Some days after, San finally found a job as a waiter. His manager helped him getting a little apartment to live in.
It just took him a couple of months to get used to this new life he felt totally connected with. He filled his little closet with bunch of different types of pants, sweatpants, shirts, elegant blazers, everything he could.

He was finally starting to discover his true self, and doing everything to show him to the world.
It was like discovering how to breath and how good oxygen could be for your body.

After a year, he started to take sing lessons, he didn't even know how and why. Probably, it was Yeosang, a friend and also flatmate of his, who helped him getting along with the whole world of activities you could make in your freetime, that world that San had ignored for his whole existence.

"Ever you ever wondered about singing?"

"About what? I've never... I've always, you know, done more athletic things. I don't think I could be good at it" San responded with a confused look.

"But I listened to you many times. I think you're pretty great. Think about what you can do if you even study to it! Maybe you will start to sing in pubs or become the next Freddie Mercury! Who knows? C'mon, San, give it a try."

San never in his life thought about him as a singer, but as so soon as he started to practice, he found himself pretty good ad it, and it was also pleasing. The teacher kept complimenting about how easily he could take every exercise, doing the best without even need to put effort in it.

Then it came the time when she, together with Yeosang, started to suggest about audition to some agencies to become a kpop idol.

"We can be together, try to figure it out: I can audition as a dancer, and you can do as a singer. We could do the training together and debut together. We already got pretty along together; it would be fun to stay in the same group!" his eyes did no effort in hiding his excitement.