PRODUCE 101 | c.s + j.wy

VII

Wooyoung reached his friends' table greeting them with a hidden smile between his lips. His puffy eyes cheated on that smile.

"Hey! Is everything fine?" Yeonjun stared right into the deep brown of his eyes. Wooyoung was very grateful to have such a friend in his life: he understood his feelings by just that kind of look. That's when he reacted with a very wide and sincere smile.

"Yes, it is. How's the food, by the way? Good? Or are we going to starve?" he sat with the others and started an involved chit-chat about the food, then their morning and their lessons. They were classmates now, after all.

And this was the very first morning. No doubts every other day was going to be a hundred times tougher, with many more lessons and never enough food.

___ • ___

And the first month went over like this. Every day just like every other one.

6.30am alarm.

7.30am breakfast.

8.15am beginning of lessons, lunch break and then lessons again until 7pm.

Wooyoung often found himself going alone at the practice room after dinner. He wasn't really sure why no one felt to do the same thing: he kept practicing on the choreos he did the previous days, trying to correct the things that didn't look good at his eyes.

During this month, he still felt overwhelmed with emotions. He didn't lose his interest and excitement about the training and the program but, on the other hand, his confidence in singing was getting worse day by day.
Despite his friends kept telling him that he wasn't that bad, that Seonghwa have "more problems with controlling his voice", Wooyoung basically felt like a smooshed bug.

That's why he liked to stay alone and practice in the dance studios. It helped to release all the tension about the just finished day and also to feel good at least at one activity.

If you'd put all this effort also in singing, Wooyoung, don't you think you will improve?
Then, why you don't?
Try to understand that singing is your thing, but you're still good at dancing. This is your world.

This was what he tried to tell himself in the worst moments, but it did work for nothing.
He was still confident about his dance talent, but not anymore about his uniqueness. A lot of other trainees were so good: when the shift of classmates happened once every week, he saw even more good dancers.

What if being an idol wasn't his thing, at all? Maybe he had just to be a choreographer, no more than it.

Then there was Choi San.

Wooyoung was hella sure that that little pinky haired would rank #1 during the show. Because he's going to make in the first 30, for sure.

He was good at everything.

He was a very great dancer, had an enviable energy and charisma. Wooyoung lacked all that facial during his performances and the teachers didn't miss the opportunity to tell him so.
He wondered how hard he had studied in the past.

Yes, just in the past, because right now, Choi San looked like he didn't care about anything. Like he was so sure of how to turn out his best by doing the minimum requested, compared to all the other losers who kept struggling even during warm ups.

And the matter didn't change in terms of singing. He was very, very good. Wooyoung would never admitted to himself that he liked is voice a lot, that he'd appreciated it even if he pronounced a train announcement.

But the pissed feeling towards his behavior was way more intense than the barely existent appreciation for his qualities.

San didn't enjoy his luck in being so good at everything. He seemed like he didn't even care about debutting. Then why joining that freaking program, not leaving the spot to more involved people?

He was struggling on a certain sequence of steps, when a long sigh left his mouth. He was drowning in his thoughts, again, and couldn't focus even on his body anymore.
He sat against the mirror and shut his eyes, some silent tears stared to fell all over his face.

Again.
How miserable are you, Wooyoung?

A sliding sound broke the silence of the room.

Wooyoung swore he had seen a pink head popping up from the door, but the water in his eyes faded his vision, and it only last a split second.
I'm literally seeing him anywhere. I'm going crazy.

"Who's there?"

No one answered, and the slided door close again.

Wooyoung was seriously confused. No one used to come at the studio at that time of night. It was his safe place.
He started to collect his stuff to leave, when the door opened again and a wild Seonghwa appeared.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Was about to ask the same question."

Seonghwa gave him a smirk, then focused more on his red shaded eye. He didn't say anything, but couldn't force himself away from the younger. He trapped Wooyoung in a tight hug, passing his fingers through his soft and scented hair.

Wooyoung felt flustered at such hug. Why this? Did he see that I cried?

"Is everything... Okay?" the shorter wasn't at ease with body contact at all, except from, you know, his mother and his very close friends.

"It is, but you don't look okay. I know you prefer staying alone in this moments, but... Just don't forget that you're not, okay? Feel free to rely on me whenever you'll need." Seonghwa stroked his cheeks and pull some hair strands away from his face.

Wooyoung did nothing but nodded at such delicate touch. He could feel goosebumps growing all over his neck and arms, and some tears began to fall down, again. This time, he accepted the hug Seonghwa pushed him in, tightening his grip into the taller's shoulders and broke into a louder cry.

Seonghwa kept giving him little comforting touches and waited until the other felt calm enough to pull away.

"Thank you so much, Seonghwa." the shorter wiped his eyes and tried to restore his face the best he could. "By the way... What were you doing here?"

Seonghwa seemed taken by surprise at the question. The studio was pretty dark, but Wooyoung could swear the other's cheeks turned light pink and his gaze shifted away.

"I was... Just wandering around, you know."

"Okay, so let's come back to our rooms, I guess?"

"I'm just staying here. You didn't think you were the only one who keep practicing late at night, did you?"

Wooyoung gifted him with a wide smile, and left with another fast hug before coming back to his room.
After a fast shower, he climbed into his bed and almost instantly fell asleep.

He would have never said it, but being helped by someone else, instead of trying to hold it alone, being given some comfort hugs... Made him feel a lot better, both with himself and the general situation.

Wooyoung knew that kind of attitude wasn't the best to deal with some life harsh moments. He had tried so hard to talk with his friends in those moments but the words didn't want to leave their safe spot in his mind. It would have been right to bury them and forget about their existence, that's what he was supposed to do not saying them outloud. But, unfortunateley, it had the opposite effect.
Such feelings grew bigger and heavier. Sometimes, he felt crushed under their weight.

When people like Seonghwa took the initiative to just comfort him, without forcing him to talk about that, he felt blessed. It wasn't easy to stand his attitude sometimes, to overlook his silence and his moments when he just disappeared for days to stay alone. That's why his only close friend was Yeonjun, who seemed to understand his behaviour without judging it. 
Then, he met Seonghwa, and even if he was a calm introverted too, they managed to rely on each other with just some little actions. And Wooyoung simply felt so good in that relationship he was starting to be grateful for.

He felt finally ready to face the following day, which was the first one of the second month of practice.

First step: done.
You've done it, Wooyoung.
Good job.

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bad moments happen so often when you're a dancer among other dancers 😭 i relate woo so bad