Responsibilities Of An Idol Leader | KNJ X OC ✔️

8. Opening Up Communication

30/03/21-03/04/21

I sit in my studio, in a daze. The memory of one of my last nights with Sooyoung flooded my thoughts. We were bike riding together then went back to her apartment. I recalled the conversation we had and how I said that we would stay strong together, even with all the distance. I told her we would be fine.

But, I didn't keep my word. We broke up and she lost contact with me. I didn't think about how hard it would be for her to reach me if she had anything she had to share with me. The timing of our company making us change phone numbers for security reasons played a part and was definitely unfortunate timing. I should've held on and tried harder instead of us cutting ties. She tried to make our relationship work. She didn't want to end things, but I think I made her feel guilty for telling her she was a distraction. I wish the words I said to her came out differently back then. Again, I really can't turn back time.

It's Tuesday afternoon. The boys and I made it home from California, yesterday.

I've already discussed the situation about me possibly having a son to Sejin-nim before we left LA. When I first told him, it's as if he'd seen a ghost. He had to take a moment to absorb what he heard and told me that he'll discuss it with Bang PD-nim, and we'd all have to eventually meet together to speak about what needs to be done.

~

It's been a couple hours of working in my studio. The last half of that time was spent with Taehyung and I working on a song. He's trying to make it perfect for his upcoming mixtape. ARMY is going to be in for a really great mixtape by him. I'm so proud of Taehyung's progress as a songwriter, over the years.

We've been working and just chatting about random topics. Now, I've excused myself to meet with Bang Pd-nim and Sejin-nim regarding the child I never knew about. On my way to the boss' office, I collect Jin and Jimin since they insisted on being present.

As we walk into Bang PD-nim's office, we see Sejin-nim already sitting on a chair facing Bang PD-nim, who looks relaxed, sitting behind his desk.

"Hello, boys. Namjoon, come on in and sit next to Sejin. Jin and Jimin, go ahead and sit in the back," the main boss commands in a calm and welcoming tone. My heart is racing, not sure how this conversation will end up going. I feel Jin and Jimin give me comforting pats on my shoulders as we all head to our designated seats.

~

After almost two hours of sitting in Bang PD-nim's office, I now have a clear idea of what I plan to do moving forward. A lot of the meeting was spent discussing that my family life will be kept as private as possible. Just like with my parents and Kyungmin's privacy being respected, so will the privacy of Sooyoung and my supposed son.

Bang PD-nim said he'll respect any decision I make- whether I decide to be a part of this child's life. All in all, he is more supportive and understanding than I expected him to be.

After the meeting, I called Kyungmin and asked her to call Sooyoung. I gave my sister permission to give my ex my contact information so that we can speak to each other.

After Kyungmin contacted Sooyoung, via phone call, my ex-girlfriend was given my phone number. My sister advised her to text me so that she and I can come to an agreement on the best time to have a formal call. It was weird initially receiving a text from Sooyoung. I remember being nervous about hearing from her. But, our texts have been civil and we've both just been cordial with what we've been texting each other.

Due to our equally packed schedules, we set the time for me to call her on Saturday at 8am my time, which would be Friday, 7pm her time.

~