20. The Rest of the Time Well-Spent

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18/04/21-22/04/21


It's now Thursday morning and it's been quite the few days. On Monday and Tuesday, since it was Sooyoung's busiest days of the week, in terms of her med school schedule, and Moonsik being in preschool, I took those mornings and early afternoons to work on some music. I know it's my vacation, but whenever inspiration hits me or I have that motivation, I jump on it, and lately, I've been greatly inspired with writing music these days.

All the members have called me at some point during my trip. The calls would involve having them fill me in on their personal lives as well as them checking up on me and being interested in hearing all the details about my son, or who they now call their honorary nephew.

I've received a couple calls and several texts from Bora a week ago, when she made it back to Seoul after a tour she's completed with her group. I told her I was out of town but that I would be back in a week. I haven't told her about my son and I don't know if I plan on it, simply because I'm not sure if I can confide in her with that information.


I have tried to contact her, but our differing schedules kept causing us to miss each other, not allowing us to be able to speak on the phone. I want to tell her as soon as possible that I want to sever the sexual arrangement we've had. Maybe, it might be something I'll have to do in person. I even messaged her saying that maybe we do need to meet, when I get back home, saying that it is urgent for us to talk. After I sent that message, I don't know if it had sounded alarm bells in her head, because she was quick to ask, via text, if everything between us was okay. I never answered that directly and said we would talk then, because I didn't want to break it off just through a mere text.

On those afternoons, Kyungmin and I would go to Sooyoung's apartment, where Moonsik would already be home with his nanny, Maria. It was a perfect time to just bond with Moonsik by playing alongside with him and watching movies together, as well as talk about topics that excite a five year old. When Sooyoung would make it home, from school, we would order in food for dinner.

I would read Moonsik a book during his bedtime and I wish I could do it every night. Sooyoung had suggested that, when I'm away, we could try to FaceTime when Moonsik is getting ready for bed so I can tell him stories before he falls asleep. I told her I love the idea and could always make time in my mornings, since it's morning in Seoul when it's nighttime in Manhattan.

After putting Moonsik to bed, Sooyoung and I spent those Monday and Tuesday nights cuddled in her bed, talking about everything that came to mind. Being apart for five years gave us a lot to discuss. And, of course I couldn't leave before having some amazing sessions with her.

One thing to know about Sooyoung is how much she's always loved rough sex. And, I missed fucking her to oblivion.

Let's just say, I did not hold back those two nights. And, thank goodness Moonsik is a heavy sleeper, like his mother, and likes to have a noise machine to help him fall asleep. Because, neither Sooyoung and I could keep it down completely.

Whenever Sooyoung and I are together, it's incendiary. She ignites something inside of me.

No one makes me feel the way Sooyoung does.


On Wednesday, Sooyoung gave permission to have Moonsik be out of preschool so that I could spend the day with him. Accompanied by Kyungmin, Sejin-nim and Maria, and shuttled around by Chulsan, we took Moonsik everywhere. Our first stop was taking him to the Children's Museum of Arts, where I had arranged for him to have a private art lesson that was an hour long.

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