1991

1991 Part 8

We walk along the street for what feels like miles not saying a word. It's so cold outside, there's a chill in the wind, that feels delicious against my burning skin. I'm on fire, from the inside out. The warmth of the pizza place hadn't helped but it's more than that, my skin is burning and I have this ball of energy in my stomach with no place to go, like I could run and run. I'm crackling with built up tension.

Eddie is still holding my hand, we're walking slowly and in sync. Our fingers are knotted together tightly. It feels incredible to be walking by his side like this. He's with me, I think. This is what it feels like to be his.

"Are you warm enough?" he says finally, there's no other sound now but our footsteps on the ground. 

"I'm fine thanks," I look at him and smile. He's got a dark jacket pulled up around his chin, his hair is down and messy around his cheeks pink from the cold. He smiles and I see a toothy flash of teeth before he looks down, almost shyly. We keep walking in sync. 

"Where are we going?" I ask quietly, almost too scared to break the spell. He looks at me again and just shrugs slightly, his lips twisting as if to say 'no idea!' I nod slightly, understanding. 

"I just needed to get out of there, and take a walk."

I don't say anything.

"It was getting a little.... uncomfortable" he says, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Uncomfortable?"

He smiles and his cheeks look pinker. "I....I was getting uncomfortable...around you."

His fingers squeeze mine. He was uncomfortable around me? 

We've stopped in the middle of the empty sidewalk. The road is almost deserted and there's a neon light above us, blinking red in the dark. The streetlights are on and humming and there's a faint sound of traffic rumbling in the distance. Eddie turns to stand in front of me, his breath comes out as a white cloud and his eyes are sparkling from the cold. I can smell his sweet scent again as he takes a step towards me and takes both of my hands in his. I look at him face-on, up close and shiver slightly.

"You are cold," he says "here, let me" and he's unbuttoning his jacket.

"No! No, I'm not going to take your jacket Eddie, it's too cold!" I hold my hands up in protest.

"Who said anything about giving you my jacket?" he grins slyly and takes another step towards me. He takes my arms and wraps them around his waist, inside his jacket, pulling me into his space. Then he wraps his jacket back around the both of us, holding me tightly in his arms.

"Warmer?" he asks into the top of my head.

"Thank you," I stutter, from where I'm snuggled against his collarbone. I cling tightly to him, gripping the back of his sweatshirt, too terrified to move. I can feel his heart beating against my chest, and the rise and fall of his breathing. 

"Your hair smells incredible," he says and buries his face in my neck. My skin tingles, I can feel his cheek pressed against my skin. He inhales deeply and lets out a sigh which surges through me like an adrenaline shot. His arms tighten around my back as he pulls back slightly to look at me. 

"Sam...." I wait for him to finish his sentence, but he never does. My name hangs there. He sighs again and unwraps one arm from around me to trace his fingertip lightly over the hollow dip at the base of my throat. He studies it intensely.

"You do something.....to me," he says eventually, looking up at my mouth.

"I do?" I croak. The feeling is mutual I want to scream but the words won't come. I can't stop staring at his face, he looks like an angel.

"You do,' he repeats.

"Oh."

"And.......I think I might do something.... to you?" he says quietly, his finger still tracing slowly. 

"I...think that's....accurate" I manage to whisper. He looks into my eyes and I see the beginnings of a smile flicker. I feel dizzy, too much blood to the head. My heart is pumping so hard there is a thumping in my ears. I can feel the muscles in his back under the flat of my palm.

"So, what do we do now?" he grins and goes back to staring at my lips, less than an inch from me. His arm snakes around my back again and pulls me so tight the wind is pushed out of me. I gasp. I can feel him, hard, against me. He presses his lips to my ear and whispers.

"Can you feel what you do to me?"

I splutter slightly and grip him tighter.

"Take me somewhere.....please?" I murmur. He leans in and before I realise he's done it he brushes his lips against mine so quickly and gently, it's like a fairy kiss. I look at him pleadingly, begging him to do it again.

"You can't look at me like that, Sam. It's dangerous."

I think he's going to kiss me again but instead he unwraps his arms and takes my hand. We walk to end of the street and he hails a cab.

As it pulls up along side us he turns to me again.

"Stone's?" he says.

"Sure."

In the back of the cab we say nothing and sit motionless staring out of our respective windows, our hands clamped together in the middle of the back seat. The tension is unbearable.

"Everything ok folks?" the driver asks, looking at me in the rearview mirror, obviously concerned.

"Fine," I smile, reassuringly. 

"Can you drive a little faster please?" Eddie says.