1991

1991 Part 12

I can't sleep. I got in just before 4am and despite thinking I was exhausted I lay in bed for an hour, wide awake, thinking. About Eddie mainly, specifically having amazing sex with Eddie in Scrunch's parent's bathroom. I've never felt anything like it before, the only way to explain it is instinctual, love the way he smells but it's more than that, I get turned on by his pores! It's like there's nothing he could do that would repulse me, which is kind of alarming when you think about it. I even like his feet! There isn't an unattractive inch on his body, anywhere. On reflection I realise I may need therapy.

While I lie in the dark smiling to myself, I think back to what Kirst said in the bar on Friday night. About the crush I had on Nick. A silly crush, she'd called it. She said I would know the real thing when it happened. I shuddered, the thought of Nick made my skin crawl yet less than a week ago I thought he was the love of my life. I'd not understood what she'd meant, I remember I didn't think about Nick naked, even when I thought I was in love with him. I didn't think of anyone naked, it was more a pretty face thing. Kind of like when I'd been in love with that guy from Duran Duran when I was a kid. It was innocent, I wanted to marry him and then hold his hand. I'd tried the naked test in my head using Scrunch as an example, which wasn't unpleasant but had made me laugh more than anything else. I realise I haven't tried it with Eddie before so I close my eyes and picture him standing in the bathroom, staring at me, his clothes on the floor and his hair, tousled sexily after I'd tugged on it hard. I see his shoulders and his arms and his wrists and his hands and his chest and his stomach and his hips and his... I need a cold shower.

I dry my hair and pad downstairs just after 7 to find Kevin already up. 

"Why so bright and early Kev?"

"Not so bright and early actually, just got in. Finished a set about an hour ago," he says as he pours coffee into the machine, "good night?"

"Good night, yes" I grin, smugly, hugging my arms around myself contentedly.

"Oh, I see!" Kev looks at me wickedly, "well I did say, he is a lucky dude whoever he is."

"Eddie, his names Eddie," I reply perhaps a bit too enthusiastically.

"My god Sam, look at you!" Kev laughs and drops a couple of bagel halves in the toaster.

"Yes please," I indicate the toaster and Kev adds one for me. I pour us both a coffee and we sit either side of the breakfast counter. Kev adds cream and sugar to both and I stir. We're an old married couple I swear.

"What do you mean by 'Look at you'? I ask scraping cream cheese onto my bagel. Kev pauses chewing.

"You look all happy and shit, perky!" he gives me a wink.

"Perky." I repeat. "What does that mean?"

"There's no polite way to say this Sam, but you look sated."

"Sated?"

"Mmm-hmm, sated," Kev grins. Kev is a journalism major.

"I know what you're saying Kev," I reply haughtily, "and you're absolutely correct."

Kev snorts bagel crumbs all over the counter. 

"That's my girl!"

"Is this what it's normally like Kev? You know....lusting after someone," I can ask Kev anything without feeling too stupid. He teases me but he wouldn't breathe a word to anyone.

"Uh, yeah! Welcome to the agony party," Kev wipes his mouth "speaking of which, does Kirsty ever mention me?" 

"Really Kev? Kirsty still?" Kirsty is obviously beautiful and Kev has made it clear he has had a thing for her for over a year now, but for some reason it makes me uncomfortable.