1991

1991 Part 42

"You know when you're in a car and a guy is driving and he goes to reverse out of a space, and he sort of twists in his seat and wraps his arm around the passenger seat to look out the back window?" I look at Kirst for confirmation that she knows that I'm talking about.

"Yeeaahh," she says warily.

"Well, when Eddie did that earlier I swear it made me...a bit....wet," I indicate southwards awkwardly with my eyes, "down there!"

Kirst looks at me like I'm mental.

"Ew!"

"Sorry! I'm just trying to explain the absolute hell that is my life Kirst!" I drop down onto the sofa sulkily. The lounge at Stone's is pretty deserted, just me and Kirst and a very loud stereo blasting MudHoney at eleven.

Eddie and I arrived ten minutes ago, after enduring the most awkward and painfully tense drive over to Stone's, after leaving the movie theatre. The atmosphere in the car felt like a pressure cooker, the slightest movement could have provoked some kind of eruption. Everything took on new significance and meaning, even the slightest comment became suggestive and filled with nuance. 

"Party is at Stone's right?" - Translation: "Where you fucked me in the bathroom, remember?"

"Yeah, it's at Stone's" - Translation: "Where I wrapped your legs around me and did you on the counter top"

"Want the radio on?" - Translation: "I have an enormous boner that's really uncomfortable"

"Ok" - Translation: "I can't stop glancing at your enormous and very obvious boner"

"Should we stop and get anything" -  Translation: "Should we stop so you can fuck me sideways over the hood?"

"Nah, we're good" -  Translation: "I'm thinking about baseball, nothing but baseball. I love baseball."

I'd kept my hands in my lap and stared straight ahead. As soon as Stone opened his front door Eddie and I forced ourselves apart and headed in opposite directions. Eddie had gone to find and consume any and all the alcohol he could, and I'd dragged Kirst off to unload. We both had plans to have a quiet word with Kev.

Kirst raises her eyes to the ceiling and sighs.

"Forgive me if it doesn't seem like the worst problem I've ever heard Sam. I am very sympathetic, you poor, poor girl." If Kirst was any drier she'd be a desert. She flicks her lighter open and lights a cigarette. "How was the movie?" she adds casually, a smile flickering at the corners of her mouth.

"Fuck off," I shoot back and immediately start to laugh. "Oh my god K, have you seen that movie?"

Kirst sniggers hard, coughing slightly from the smoke she's holding in her lungs, "yeah, we saw it about a month ago. Why? Didn't you enjoy it?" she winks, "I bet Eddie enjoyed it."

I collapse onto my side and hide my head under a cushion to groan loudly, "I can't believe I even wore these fucking socks!" I mumble.

"We did try to warn you, especially Kev," she grins.

"You assholes knew exactly what you were doing, sending me off like a lamb to the slaughter," I snigger.

"You didn't?! In a movie theatre?!" Kirst's eyes are wide as saucers.

"No, actually we didn't. I fought him off," I smile smugly.

Kirst stops and looks at me with one eyebrow raised, "Say that back to yourself, slowly."

I roll my eyes at her "Yeah, I know that sounds ridiculous, 'I fought off Eddie Vedder's advances'.

"That's the first time and only time that sentence has even been said, you know that right?" Kirst teases and I can't help but snort with laughter.