Once Again: Nanami x OC

Chapter 20: saeko's backstory

|TW: mentions child abuse, child neglect, substance abuse, bullying, attempted sexual assault.

i want to make it very clear that i am NOT romanticizing or glorifying any of these things. i understand that these are very serious issues and people-like myself-struggle with some of them daily. this is solely to create depth behind saeko's character and explain why she is the way she is. characters are supposed to be complex and should be looked at beyond their surface-level personality. if u can't read this one, that's okay! to sum it up, saeko's childhood is 'class of 2013' by mitski.

we're going to be viewing this chapter through saeko's pov. just in case anyone gets confused she's dreaming rn and we're experiencing her memories, think of it as virtual reality|

the blaring sound of her alarm slowly wakes saeko up, her eyelids struggling to open as she felt around for her alarm. finally finding it and slamming the off button, turning her head to see the time.

so early...

she gets out of bed, scuffing her feet on the way to the bathroom, and turns on the light. she goes to the bathroom, walking to her sink after she finishes her business, mindlessly opening up the medicine cabinet to get her toothbrush and toothpaste. she closes it and looks at the reflection staring back at her.

woah...do i look different?...probably just still tired

she squirts the paste on her brush and brushes her teeth. some time goes by and she's put on her high school uniform: a navy blue skirt pleated skirt that goes down to her knees and a buttoned-up white dress shirt. she looks in the mirror, turning sideways to see the still pronounced bump on her chest.

even with a sports bra, they look massive...

she goes into her closet and picks out a large cardigan, putting it on to try and hide her figure. the baggy cardigan did a mediocre job at best but it was better than before, it gave her a sense of security when she wore it. she put on her socks and slippers and headed into the kitchen, tying a red ribbon into a bow underneath her collar.

she cooked breakfast for herself, leaving some on a plate with plastic wrap for her mom, and sat down at the table to eat.

her mom worked night shifts as a bartender in their small town. her schedule overlapping with saeko's so that they rarely saw each other, and if they did it was only for a brief moment before the other had to go somewhere else. it had always been like this.

ever since saeko was young, she had known that her mother didn't want to be a mother. it was rarely said but she felt it from her mother, the animosity she had towards her child for simply existing. she learned how to get up and get dressed by herself by the time she was in kindergarten, eating breakfast and walking to school with a next-door neighbor who had been kind enough to help saeko's mother out. but that kindness was temporary and it was conditional, and soon, saeko wasn't allowed to come to their house for breakfast anymore. this was because of her mother's attitude towards people: she took what she wanted from others and gave back nothing in return.

saeko washed her dishes and put them in the drying rack near the sink, grabbing her lunch she made the night before with leftovers and putting it in her school bag. she walked over to the entryway, putting on her sneakers and taking one last look in the mirror.

she fixed her bangs and combed her fingers through her brown hair one last time. glaring at the new pimple that had grown on her forehead overnight, suddenly thankful for her bangs. she was always insecure about her face, it still had some of her baby fat and she was always told she looked "plain" which never made sense but it still stung for some reason. she had always wanted to be beautiful like her mother, her slender face and sharp features made her look like the models saeko saw in magazines.