Your Grace - Burak Çelik

CHAPTER 6

T/W: Minor mention of self harm

Ayedah waited anxiously outside Istanbul Airport. Her Aunt Gab was to arrive from Greece, after three and a half weeks on a business trip plus the time she spent in quarantine isolation, right before Ayedah was to start working on the set of Kurulus Osman. She stood outside Arrivals, clucking her tongue softly and checking her watch every now and then. The flight had landed 32 hours earlier, however Aunty Gab had to isolate herself before being let out due to travel restrictions. It was already 3 O'Clock, and Ayedah had arrived at around 2.30PM. She had had a quick snack at a small cafe as she waited for her aunt- they had planned to eat their dinner out right after they dropped her luggage off at home.

Gabriella Harraz was a very successful fashion designer and businesswoman in Istanbul- she had spent years studying fashion in Paris, and moved to Istanbul right after she was satisfied with her education. Immediately she opened a clothing store, and over the years she rose to the top of the fashion business in Turkey. She used to always make Eid clothes for Ayedah and her younger brother, Aarif, then send them over to London- even though she never celebrated with them. Ayedah could understand why, though she did wish for her aunt's company during family events. Aunt Gab had been the only family member that Ayedah actually managed to get along with; the few times Aunt Gab went to visit them in London, her time was always spent with Ayedah- more so than even Ayedah's father himself, Yakob Harraz, who was Gabriella's older brother and only family member.

"You should visit more often, Aunty Gab," said a 14-year-old Ayedah as she munched on some Fish 'n' Chips. They were having their lunch at the famous Great British Fish & Chips restaurant, located right next to the London Eye on the River Thames. Aunty Gab smiled at Ayedah as she watched her niece eat. "I wish I could, I'm just too busy," she said softly. Ayedah narrowed her eyes at her Aunt. She could tell that she was lying.

"Are you sure?" she asked. "Or is it because you don't get along with Ummi's family?" Aunty Gab frowned. "What makes you think that?" she asked. Ayedah shrugged. "I mean, I can't get along with them either," she snorted, though deep down she could feel her stomach bubbling uncomfortably. "What are you talking about, Ayedah?" asked Aunty Gab, her frown turning into a look of concern. "It's nothing," muttered Ayedah. "I'll probably get killed if I complain about them anyway." Gabriella grabbed her niece's hand, and fixed her a firm look.

"Tell me what's going on, please."

Ayedah groaned at the look her aunt was giving her. "Please don't give me that look," she said. "I can't tell you- not without getting into trouble." "I'm not a tattletale," said Aunty Gab sternly. "Now tell me what's going on." Ayedah frowned, but after a few minutes of persuasion, she relented.

"They just annoy the dung out of me, that's why," she muttered. "Especially Reema, she loves to bother me." Aunty Gab chuckled for a moment. "Isn't Reema nine?" "Yes, but she's a pain in the ass," Ayedah blurted out. "She literally has Aarif wrapped around her finger, and tells everyone I do things that I didn't do- not to mention that she loves to laugh whenever I break down." "Why would you be breaking down, Love?" asked Aunty Gab, the concerned look on her face returning. Ayedah shifted uncomfortably in her chair, but replied nonetheless, knowing that it would be useless to resist her aunt.

"I keep...changing, Aunty Gab," admitted Ayedah. "It's weird, and it's tiring. It's like, one moment I'm fine- more than fine, in fact...crazy and happy, joking around and being weird. The family enjoys me that way, when I'm smiling...says that it makes things easier for them, lights up their days." Aunty Gab nodded, listening intently. "But then there's the other moment- and it all goes down, like I'm being consumed by this cold, cold ocean...and it's exhausting, trying to swim out. And when that happens, I always bring everyone's mood down, and they let me know it- it hurts, because I don't want to, and I would never want to make someone else unhappy- but I can't help it. I tell them to leave me alone, let me be, but then Mum will get so angry at me for asking such a thing. She would say that 'as family, we shouldn't distance ourselves from each other and don't keep secrets from each other'." "What does Sama' mean by that?" asked Aunty Gab.