His blurred eyes

Clubs

Wednesday 11:23 pm

"Oh come on Nova you're being a kid right now! Hurry up!"
I come out. The most serious expression on my face.

"You look good!"
Nola exclaims.

My eyes narrow at her as I really felt like slapping her.
"I look like I'm a fucking 12-year old kid with this dress on! How the hell do I look good?"

She really tried to stay serious. But as usual it didn't work.
Her mouth is wide open and I genuinely want an insect to fly in there and choke her.

"Stop laughing you jerk!"
Nola coughs as she places her skinny hands on her stomach.

Of course, she had pain of laughing.

"Fine, fine! Your words just made me laugh. You look good Nova. Besides it's dark at the club so no one will notice you.."

Not like anyone does either way.

"Is that supposed to console me?"
Nola takes my hand and drags me out.

"Take it however you want Nova.."

She hates you Nova.

'Oh shut up. How could she? She's my best friend.'

You don't have friends.

My intrusive thoughts.
A battle between the both of us every day. Me and myself.

Most of the time I don't react. But now I just had to. I don't tolerate bullshit. Not even from my own thoughts.

I'm not you!

'Oh really? Then who the fuck are you? Jesus?'

"Nova? You alright?"
I stop the discussion with myself and look at the woman that stopped talking to George..

"Yeah, great. Never better now that I'm forced to go to the club. George aren't you going to lecture her? This is basically illegal!"
The man I address just shrugs his shoulders. Going back to listening to his sickening waltz music.

Making me scoff.

"You should thank me for taking you out of that goddamn house! Katy finally has the opportunity to clean that stinky room of yours.."

I gasp. "Don't talk about my stinky room!"
Nola is now an inch away from me.

"I just motherfucking did."

Wednesday 01:42 am

"I love clubs!!" I hear Nola say to a basic blonde white guy, whom is dancing with her, over the loudest music ever.

I hate clubs.
Nola didn't even let me drink.

I mean we have a sober driver so why the hell could I not drink?
Not good for my health. Her excuse.

Yes. I admit I am addicted to cigarettes. I drank a few times. Nola saw my condition and she didn't like it. Ever since, I couldn't touch a drink.

The dancing girl doesn't even like me smoking. To hell with that. Don't touch my cigarettes.

"Hello lady. What's your name?"
I sip the plain water I got and answered:

"Not interested. Get your ashy ass back to your fucking seat."
The man looked scared and really did what I ordered.

I could kill him.

'Way to ruin the moment, Jesus.'
"Nola! Hey!" I try shouting at her.
But her nasty ass is busy flirting with him.

"Nol- Oh fuck it! I'm going to the bathroom!"
I still shout. In case I get kidnapped.

If she didn't hear me, well I'm sure somebody else did. Or I'd die.

Finally.

I am alone here. Lighting a cigarette and sitting on the floor. Smoking.
After I took a breath from my asthma puffer.

So, I smoked a cigarette. Or one or two or three. Who cares?

No one. You're killing yourself.

'Well Jesus that's not so nice to say. Even if I am. What about it?'

I don't know if this discussion is making me less lonely or very pathetic.

I stand up and walk next to the sink. Putting the cigarette under the water that's coming out of the silver rectangle form.

After making sure the fire was completely out, I look up. Facing the mirror.
And my body froze.

A big, long black silhouette with wide white sparkling eyes standing behind me.

"What th-"
I turned and it wasn't there anymore.
'Fuck...Not again..'

My breath is a mess. Gripping my damaged hair. I'm not crazy right? Is it because I didn't take my medication?

What the fuck was that? The last time this happened was...

FORGET IT

Nothing happened. It is simply the lighting. Just the damn typical clubs lighting.

I locked myself up for the rest of the night. Not sleeping. Not talking.

Paranoia taking control.