dusk beneath the city lights | Buenvenidez Series #4 [COMPLETED]

EPILOGUE

"You can't undo the past but you can definitely learn from it," 

It was some of Abuelo's words I could barely remember. Sa dami at sa ilang beses niya akong pinagsasabihan sa tuwing gumagawa ako ng kalokohan na dahilan kung bakit ako napapagalitan, hindi ko na halos maalala lahat.

Siguro may ilan... 'yung talagang tumatak sa isip ko.

"You are not a risk-taker, Caly.. but flying a plane with hundred souls on board is definitely a risk to always take. You oath to do it. You can't run from it." 

I chuckled as I remember it slowly. His words are what guided me to who I am today. It's his words that taught me a lot. Besides my own father's advices every time I'd be stuck in a situation.

"Hindi ako nagbibiro noong sinabi kong itatakwil kita sa oras na sinaktan mo ang girlfriend mo," Ani Daddy nang tumabi siya sa amin ni Abuelo.

"Isn't that too much, Jonas?" Abuelo asked.

"Nothing's too much, Papa. That's just actually a bare minimum. Hindi naman talaga dapat sinasaktan ang taong mahal mo.. hindi ba, Caly?" Daddy gazed at me.

Tumango ako saka ibinaba ang tingin sa singsing na hawak ko. He wouldn't just let me go holding this without burning me with his unambiguous words of freaking wisdom.

"Your fate is in your hands now. That ring is the proof." Si Abuelo.

Dad chuckled and pat my shoulder. "Sa dami mong kalokohan noon, nakakapagtaka parin talaga na nakahanap ka ng babaeng seseryosohin mo kaya siguraduhin mong makikita namin siyang suot 'yan. Don't fail me this time, Caly." He said.

"I won't.." I said as I felt a lump on my throat because of a sudden nervousness.

I didn't actually knew the reason why I felt nervous and scared that I might not keep my words to them. Hindi naman sa dahil magloloko ako at masasaktan ko si Rich, pero dahil baka may mga bagay pa sa nakaraan na hindi ko pa nahaharap hanggang ngayon.

It was just a bit of a gut feeling one time when Alicia approached me. Sa nakaraan na tinalikuran ko simula noong minahal ko si Rich, alam kong isa si Alicia sa bagay na naiwan doon. 

I was always pretty confident after a sex until that one night we had. Lasing na lasing ako noon kaya halos wala na akong maalala. Wala rin naman siyang sinabi sa akin pagkatapos ng ilang araw kaya naisip ko na baka wala lang.

Pero noong mga panahong bigla nalang siyang sumusulpot, hindi ko alam kung bakit ako kinabahan.

Hindi ako kinabahan na baka magisip ng ibang bagay si Rich tungkol sa aming dalawa pero kinabahan ako dahil baka isa 'yon sa maging dahilan para magkaproblema kami. Ayaw kong mangyari 'yon. Tatlong taon na kami at hawak ko na 'yung singsing. Handang handa na ako tapos magkakaproblema pa kami? Hindi ko kaya.

Kaso dumating, e. 'Yung araw na hindi ko alam kung masaya ba ako o matatakot ako para sa susunod na araw na kailangan kong harapin.

I have a child with my ex and she didn't told me the first time she knew about it. She kept it away for the whole five years and she still had no intention of letting me know about him. Wala siyang plano kung hindi lang niya kinakailangan ng tulong. That was what hit me.

I was scared for some reasons. I met a stranger that looks exactly like me. Unang tingin ko palang, alam ko nang sa akin siya. Hindi maipagkakaila ng kahit sinong titingin sa kanya.

He looked tired and pale but he managed to walk towards me for a hug. I was stoned and I couldn't move but I feel how my heart ached when I hugged him back.

Ipinahinga niya sa balikat ko ang pisngi niya at unti unti ko siyang binuhat. My heart was throbbing but I couldn't deny how I felt happy that time.