dusk beneath the city lights | Buenvenidez Series #4 [COMPLETED]

Caly's Memoir #15

22nd of November

We went out and I felt ecstatic. That's all I can say.

I am not really good with words and I can't even barely express what I am feeling tonight and how it's taking something over me. I'm sure alcohol hasn't something to do with it. Nalasing na ako sa alak, oo. Pero sa nararamdaman, hindi.

Pero baka overwhelmed lang. I had a pretty bad day. Bad shoulder flight and all these stress from work caught me laughing in the end with a woman that's out of my league.

Hindi ko talaga mapaliwanag. Is it even worth believing if I say that I never felt this happy with my past relationships? Heck, this is not even a relationship in the first place! I just wanted her to get out of the cage and see what's out there. I don't want anyone to feed her curiosity but me. If I'm gonna be her coach about life, then I'd do so. Basta hindi sa iba.

Because this woman have a lot inside her and I don't want someone else messing with her. Sapat na siguro 'yung pinanood ko siyang mahalin ang pinsan ko at umiyak dahil sa kanya. That's the only thing I can endure. 'Yung iba, ayaw ko nang maramdaman niya.

Am I selfish for hoping that she never fall for a man that won't see her worth the way I could see it in a glance? Siguro nga madamot ako. Pero kasi iba si Rich, e. Ibang iba siya sa lahat ng babaeng nakilala ko at hindi ko magugustuhang makita na pinaglalaruan lang siya at iiyak lang sa dulo.

Kung iiyak man siya.... ay joke lang. Hindi ko hihilinging mapaiyak siya. Sa lungkot man o saya. Ayaw kong may dadapong luha sa mukha niya. Gusto ko, 'yung ngiti niya lang. 'Yung ngiting alam kong masaya siya... katulad kanina. 

:)