dusk beneath the city lights | Buenvenidez Series #4 [COMPLETED]

PROLOGUE

"Are you sure you're staying here?"

She was still on her robe, sitting at the edge of the bed while I'm fixing my cuffs infront of the full body length mirror. It was another day that I'm losing my mind, still confused of what to do.

"Or do you want me to stay?" I asked again, now glancing at her.

She immediately shook her head and looked away.

"Dito lang ako." she said.

Napahinga ako ng malalim at hindi na napigilan pang magtanong.

"At ako? Hahayaan mo akong umalis?"

I immediately regretted letting my emotions rule me. I just found it unfair that she doesn't care if I will leave and she wouldn't even ask me to stay.

Her eyes went on me. I stared at her but I couldn't read what's on her mind. She so transparent to me but what happened now?

"Caly.." She trade off.

I shut my eyes. I don't want to hear it but I know that's where she's leading this to.

"I want out of this relationship.."

And I hate to hear it. For the first time in my life, I didn't enjoyed hearing those words.

Kung noon, masaya akong makakawala na sa relasyon pagkatapos marinig ang mga salitang 'yon.. iba ngayon.. ayoko.

I don't want to hear it especially if it came from her.

Not from the woman I only fell in love with.

And certainly not during this time when I had already laid all my damn cards just to be with her.

But then, it's her.. it's always her choice.

"Is it still because of him?"

She nodded, still avoiding my eyes so I decided to sat beside her.

Hindi ko yata kayang umalis kapag ganito. Kung ito na ang huling pagkakataon, hindi na ako aalis sa tabi niya.

"I don't want to end this.."

"But I want out."

"No. You're just confused.. I told you.. let's just leave.." I pity myself.

Umiling siya paulit ulit. I saw bullets of tears forming on her eyes. I felt weak.

"Why don't you choose me this time? Why can't you choose me this time? Am I not enough?"

"You are.."

I bite my lips to stop myself from talking. I shouldn't force myself to her. I shouldn't be selfish.

"Then why do you have to leave?"

She glanced at me and smiled. She's assuring me she's fine even though she's not. I'm not fine too. I will never be.

"I don't deserve you.." she simply said.

"You do.."

She shook her head. Hinawakan pa niya ang pisngi ko saka bahagyang lumapit para patakan ng halik ang aking labi.

I didn't moved. I'm about to lose it again.

Our eyes met when she moved away. Hinawakan ko kaagad ng mahigpit ang kamay niya at hinila siya papalapit sa akin.

Hindi ko na kaya.

I competely lose it.

If she couldn't love me the way I love her, that's fine, it won't change anything.

I still love her.

Mahigpit ang yakap ko sa kanya, halatang ayaw na ayaw siyang pakawalan.

"Let's run.. let's run away without coming back, baby.." I whispered, almost pleading.

But she didn't gave me an answer. She just cried to me but she didn't take her words back.

I get it. She will still leave. She was determined to do so.

And that's one thing I'm not in control of.

Her feelings.. because it's hers.

She has the rights on who to love and she has the freedom on where to go..

And I have to accept it.. if she won't run to me, if she won't stay with me. I have to accept it despite of the darkness that's slowly eating me up.

Because I love her in her darkest nights and I am willing to wait until the fleeting dusk..

Where there is light and there is hope.

Where there's a glimpse of a pipe dream.

That no matter how long the day maybe, we will still meet in the end.

Because a love that waits is the love that will still remain beautiful as the dusk beneath the city lights infront of me.