dusk beneath the city lights | Buenvenidez Series #4 [COMPLETED]

Caly's Memoir #20

20th of March

Karma never misses an address and I'm afraid to meet mine half way. Her words never fail to shake me. I guessed I was really wrong about it. I was always wrong with the way I handle relationships with my exes that's why it won't simply work.

Tama naman siya. I can't keep on trying. I can't stay as an asshole forever. I'll never grow. I'll never learn the right way to love if I will keep on trying and playing around. She's right. I don't deserve any of this. My exes did nothing wrong. I was the one who was never serious. At ayaw kong umabot sa puntong babalik sa akin ang mga ginagawa ko. Or worst, the karma might strike on this one thing I never want to fail at.

I cleared out my mind. I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone right now. I'm just scared of the damage I might put the person through... or ayon nga ba ang dahil o dahil na naman 'to kay Rich? Na gusto ko nalang sundin lahat ng sasabihin niya dahil alam kong tama siya?

If karma decides to get even, I'll cry. I hate to think about it but I guess she's right. At pakiramdam ko, kung masasaktan man ako, siya lang ang may dahilan noon.

Hindi dahil sinaktan niya ako pero dahil hindi ko yata kayang tanggapin na hinding hindi ko mahihigitan ang pinsan ko sa kanya. I am no way better than the man she loves since time immemorial. I'm just an ass who doesn't know how to properly handle love.