dusk beneath the city lights | Buenvenidez Series #4 [COMPLETED]

Caly's Memoir #12

14th of February

Happy fucking heart's day. I'm drunk writing this but I don't care. I left this memoir in New York and I just got it today. I swear, I really tried to remember everything I learned in a year. Especially at work, na master ko na lahat ng dapat. Una na doon syempre ang huwag na huwag makikipag date sa cabin crew.

The fuuuuuck. I'm really drunk. The letters are moving and the lines are really wavy. I just did some sort of advices to my friends a while ago. Sakto namang ibinalik ni Noah 'to kaya gusto ko ring isulat.

Here are the three things you need to do as a man.

First, respect. I am no angel. I am not a saint. I can't even consider myself clean-clean. But I know how to respect a woman. I love my mom. I love my sister. All the things I do, I consider them. Before speaking ill about a woman, I assess it. Matutuwa ba ako kapag narinig ko 'yung ibang lalaki na sinasabihan si Maureen ng ganoon? Matutuwa ba ako kapag hindi nirespeto ni Daddy ang marriage nila ni Mommy? I always think about it.

I may be a player but I know my game well. I don't play with woman who doesn't do the sport. I'm in no way gonna teach them. I play with players and not with the supposed bench people. At least, in that bare minimum way, I know how to respect.

Second, be the man of both words and actions. Again, hindi ako poetic. Words of affirmation isn't my love language but I know how to act it. If I tell the girl that I like her, I'll make her feel that. Hindi ako sirang traffic light para magbigay ng mixed signals. Once I told the words, I do it. And once I act it, I know she'd hear it from me.

I don't want to see my sister figuring out such signals from a man who isn't sure about her. Kahit naman alam kong hindi tanga si Maureen, ayaw ko parin na makakilala siya ng ganoong klaseng lalaki.

Third, be a man. The thing you need as a man is to be a man. Pre, you know the drill. Chivalry is never dead. You can be a gentleman. Lumugar ka. Gago ka, oo. Pero kapag seryosong usapan, maging seryoso ka. 'Wag mong daanin sa biro lahat. Sex joke, catcalls? 'Wag ganoon. Hindi ka lalaki kung ganoon ka. Dahil ang tunay na lalaki, maglalaro lang 'yan sa court, pero sa labas, seryoso 'yan. Marunong rumespeto, marunong manindigan sa salitang binitawan.

Disclaimer, I am not a saint. These words were from a player. I am jotting these down because I also want to remind myself to be a man, because I know, sometimes, I am still a douchebag and an asshole. But at least, I have these words, I know when to stop.