dusk beneath the city lights | Buenvenidez Series #4 [COMPLETED]

Caly's Memoir #24

12th of November

I stopped writing here in purpose.

We had our first anniversary last September and our relationship was amazing. It's always easy whenever it's her I'm talking about but I can't deny that the past few days has been rough for us.

She has always been inlove with him. 

Bakit ko nga ba kinalimutan ang parteng 'yon noong sinabi ko sa kanyang subukan naman namin ang kami? Bakit nga ba hindi ko naisip manlang kung tapos na ba siyang magmahal ng iba o hindi?

I've been telling and reminding my sister about that every chance I get. I always tell her that you don't put yourself in a situation where you know you'll lose both of yourself and the person you love. I always remind her that it's hard to love someone who loves someone else. Hindi ako nagkulang noon kay Maureen pero hindi siya nakinig.

She did it her way. She loved until she's broken into dust.

Hindi ko maintindihan noon. I even questioned myself, saan ba ako nagkulang bilang kapatid niya.. and she just always answer me, "I hear you, Kuya. But I can't unhear my heart." 

And that made sense now.. kahit pala alam mo nang talo ka sa dulo, kapag mahal mo, ilalaban mo. Kapag mahal mo at doon ka masaya, ipipilit mo ang sarili mo doon.

It sucks to accept it.. but Rich has always been inlove with my cousin and I'm no way near him. That's for real. No hard feelings. But she grew up loving him.. and I just came to her life with an image not as good as what she wanted.

Naiintindihan ko naman. I pushed her to do this.. to try us.. I am liable for my own damage. Alam ko naman noon na mahal pa niya pero sumugal ako kasi mahal ko siya.

And now it's here. She wanted to broke up with me because she can see my pain. The pain I never wanted her to see. 

Coz I'm more rational. I put it in my mind that it's okay. I love her because I want to. Despite the circumstances. I love her this way because this is the love I know. I said I'll wait so I will.

Babalikan niya ako. Babalik siya sa akin.

Kasi alam ko, kahit papaano, at ramdam ko, kahit hindi niya sabihin, na mahal niya rin ako.

At mas mahal ko siya kaya handa akong maghintay.