regret

chapter 34

It was 09:30 when I woke up. Today was the big day and Darius hasn't even text me yet.

Maybe he's planning something for us and he didn't want to ruin it by slipping and telling me.

I was currently at the mall looking for a nice outfit I'll wear when I meet him. Maybe I'll buy some perfume too and some scented candles.

I bought everything and also bought some condoms too. I wasn't sure if Darius would remember to bring it but I'm gonna buy it just in case. I nervously walk to the till to pay for my things and the lady looks at me all judgemental like.

She had too much make up on and the way she was chewing her gum sounded like a garbage truck was driving by.

I wait patiently for her to finish with my very few items and tell me the price.

"That would be 20$." She said popping her gum and sucking it back into her mouth making sure to make that crackling sound.

I ignore her attitude and give her the money. I seriously don't have the time to be dealing with her. She doesn't know me and I don't know her, she has no right to be judging me.

I walk out the store and into my brothers car. I asked him to borrow me his car today cause I wanted to run some "errands". He was over at Sarah's, mom and dad were working, as usual, and I had the whole house to myself. 

Darius decided we should do it here since his whole family is home and they'll distract us. He feels it'll be more romantic if our first time was alone and private.

I arrive home and set everything up. I clean the house make us food light, the candles and get dressed cute. I put the condoms in my left drawer next to my bed.

When I think everything is all set up I take my phone about to tell Darius to come but I hear the door bell ring.

I head downstairs and check on the peep hole to see Darius standing outside. My heart flutters a little and my face becomes hot.

I open the door wide enough for him to see me and what I'm wearing. He eyes me up and down before licking his pink lips. My stomach did a littl flutters sad my cheeks tinted. He smirked at my reaction and revealed something he was hiding behind him. It was a box of chocolates and a single rose. It was so sweet of him to do this. I sniff the rose and smile as the smell hits my nose. I thank him and let him inside.

As he enters my house I only realise them how amazingly handsome he looks. He was in black jeans and a button down black shirt. His hair was made perfect and his shirt had two open buttons.

He came in and looked around the living room then the kitchen and saw the dish I made. It was some stir fry, roast potatoes and lasagne. He looked at the table then back at me.

"Did you make all of this?" He asked.

I nod my head and look down shyly.

"Mandy you didn't have to do that." He says moving closer to me and holding my arms.

I was too embarrassed to say that I read online that after having sex, some people tend to go hungry.

"I just thought we would eat something afterwards." He looks at me quickly and his eyes start to look at too many directions.
And not one.of them was in mine.
We stand in an awkward silence for a few seconds until I break it.

"I can show you to my room if you want?" I say shyly and he quickly nods and walks towards me. As I turn around and start walking I feel his hands snake around my waist. I start to blush and look down so he doesn't see how much of an effect he has on me, even when he does the littlest thing I start blushing.

We reach the top of the stairs and head to my room.

With every step I took it left like I was going in slow motion. I was feeling so hot and clammy.

I can't believe this is happening.

I was about to loose my virginity to the man I love.

I open my door and step in. I walk inside so I can give him space to come in and look.

He looks around my room with a smile.

"You did all of this too?" He asks.

"Yeah, uh, I did. I just wanted it to feel special you know, since it's my first time and our first time." I say and he nods his head. He had this emotion written in his face. I could tell he was hiding it cause I couldn't tell what it was exactly. Maybe he was nervous and just didn't want me to see because I'll freak out.

"You ready?" He asks moving closer to me and I nod my head hesitantly.

He doesn't say anything Else he just moves in and kisses me. Butterflies erupt in my stomach.

This kiss was rough and rushed but I wasn't complaining. He starts backing us up into the bed and I allow everything.

Finally we reach the bed and my legs hit the bed and I sit down while still kissing him.

He breaks the kiss.

"Move up." He demands and I do as told.

I don't know. But him saying it like that in his deep husky voice -that seems to have gotten a lot more husky- is just very sexy to me.

I move up the bed and lean on my elbows to watch him take his shirt and pants off and he's now left in his briefs.

I look at his sexy body as it approaches me.
He climbs onto the bed and gets in between my legs and started kissing me again.

His hands were traveling everywhere. From my face to my neck down to my breast making sure to linger there a bit longer, then slide them down my stomach. I was uncomfortable with him touching me since he's touching all my fat and rolls. But he didn't seem to mind it so I pushed it to the back of my mind. He gripped my thighs and I gave out a moan. He gripped harder and moaned too.

I could feel something poking the inside of my thigh. I knew exactly what it was but was a little shy to look.

He started taking of garments and I stopped him.

"Cover us up." I said.

He looked a little confused but did it anyways.

I didn't want him seeing me naked. He might get turned off and leave me.

Then it happened. I lost my virginity.

To Darius Matthews.