UTOPIA Ateezxreader (18+)

The EX- Chapter 34

Trigger warning⚠️: Physical and mental abuse

Hongjoong POV

" in the beginning he was nice,cute, caring and funny, but then it all stoped."
My heart dropped when I heard those words, I didn't want to think about anything bad happening to Y/N, or her being sad for even a moment.
Yes we pretty much just met her but now that we get to know her and are with her almost every second of the day, it's hard to imagine Y/N in any kind of pain.

" Leedo and I stared dating our Senior year of high school,Throughout the years we were put together in various classes and we're partners for multiple projects,We were very good friends at the time and we would always hang out,especially for class projects."

One day while we were doing an assignment for one of our classes he confessed to me, I was shocked to hear this because believe it or not I started developing feelings for him too. Of course when he asked me to be his girlfriend I said yes and there was the start of a beautiful relationship,or so I thought."

Y/N paused for a while.maybe trying to remember all of the things they went through in their relationship? or maybe she was trying to forget?

" everything was great to me it was the perfect relationship. No one could separate us in school we were always together no matter where we were. He actually helped me through everything I was going through with those girls that terrorized me throughout the years, fast forward two years after we graduated high school, we moved in together for about six months and that's when everything crumbled."

Soon he started making comments about my appearance and it's starting to make me very self-conscious. At first it was little things like " oh I think you gained a little weight" and " your cheeks got chubby." At first I wasn't phased by this because I knew I was gaining weight from stress eating because money was tight at the moment and both our jobs were not the best paying. Quite soon it  got to the point where he was blatantly calling me fat and he started to comment on my facial features and just made me feel unwanted and unloved."

" after about a month of dealing with the mental abuse he started to physically abuse me. At this point I really did gain a lot of weight not even because of the job just because of the mental abuse and food was my only way to cope.He would point out how big my stomach was and he would slap it and laugh at how much it jiggled and he would call me disgusting, he would do the same with my thighs."

"There was a time where I snapped at him and I started to scream at him, " What the hell is wrong with you?! I thought you loved me for me and not my body! You're just an asshole who cares about how women look." I tried to leave the apartment but he pushed me into the wall and slapped me across the face and called me selfish Because I was stress  eating most of the food. But I was stressed eating because of him so it wasn't even really my fault. After the altercation we got into a few other fights where it got physical but I don't want to talk about it."

Listening to this was making my stomach hurt, I felt sick to my stomach. I felt so bad for Y/N, she I had to go through trauma with the girls in school and then she had to deal with her horrible Ex boyfriend. For him to know what she went through and pretty much put the trauma back in her head was disgusting.

" after another month of enduring the pain that he would inflict on me I decided I would go back to my old ways and stop eating and work out for as long as I could until I felt like my body was on fire. That's when he started to get all lovey-dovey again but only a little bit.he would still mentally and physically abuse me, telling me that he was too good for me and that he was going to leave me soon if my weight didn't change. He also said that I was unlovable because I had no talent and I was worthless and he didn't know what he saw in me."

" I started to have a suspicious feeling in my gut that something else is going on because he sounded a lot like the girls in my past so I took it upon myself to go through his phone when he was out running some errands. Sure enough I went through his phone and I saw the text messages of him flirting with one of the girls from our high school and she was telling him that he needs to drop me and be with her because she's so much better than me and she had so much more potential than I did and he listen to her."

"He was too much of a pussy to just tell me it's not gonna work out or that he was cheating on me, instead he had to listen to some bitch who told him to insult me so that I would leave him. And that's what I did. I called Seulgi and we packed up all my stuff and we left before he came back. He was barely left with anything considering I was the one who pretty much paid all the bills and I paid for most of the furniture I took all my stuff and I just packed up and left.I stayed with Seulgi for a couple of months with my stuff just hanging out in her basement until I found a stable job and I got this house."

"Leedo Who was furious that I left and I left him with pretty much nothing.the only thing I left him with was the next months rent money, I took all my jewelry all my clothes all my pictures,the furniture, hell I even took the bedsheets out of spite. He would continuously spam text me with insults and threats telling me that he was going to find me and pretty much kill me because I left him with nothing.Pretty soon the text stopped and I'm pretty sure he was living happily with his new girlfriend while I was here alone still grieving for a little while,but I got over it considering he was such a douche bag to me for the last 7-8 months we were together."

" with the current job I have now and Seulgi working there, I've been in a much better mindset, I've started treating my body better, I've been more confident but now that he's back in the picture I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know how he found me because I blocked him on all my social media I changed my number I blocked all accounts that he could've made to try and find me so I'm very confused on how he found me again. I just hope that was his last visit."

I was so angry I didn't even realize I was crying, I just wanted to find this Leedo guy and just continuously punch him over and over again until he was just a bloody pulp. For such a disgusting man to do that to such a joyful,creative,bright person makes me loath him with a passion. " we could always work with you and protect you." I spoke up. " no, no, no, that wouldn't work considering you guys are idols.you will most likely have to go back on tour soon and start practicing again and composing! there's no way I would let you guys take that time out of your day just come watch over me as some Man I used to know watches me do my job." Y/N said hastily.

" are you sure?because I'm pretty sure we could try and make arrangements or we can get one of our body guards from the company to come watch over you.it's really no big deal!" I insisted as I didn't like the thought of that asshole being in a room with Y/N while we weren't there. " i'm sure I'll be fine. Seulgi and a whole bunch of staff will be at the shop anyway, I doubt they would let anything bad happen to me at the shop."

" hey I'm kind of tired can you guys just go downstairs and have fun while I take a short nap?" Everyone kind of side eyed at each other kind of asking ourselves if this was the right thing to do in the situation but we all agreed and started to head downstairs. I was the last person to get out but right before I did Y/N called to me," Will you stay here and cuddle with me just until I fall asleep?" I headed over to the bed and spooned Y/N while she closed her eyes.

I put my arm over her and hugged her close to me until eventually I drifted asleep as well.

A/N
Soooo sorry for not updating for a couple of months. I would be motivated one minute and then right as I saw what I wrote I'd be like I'll do it later. Obviously I never ended up getting to it so today I thought I'm actually going to get it done and I did.I will try to update more but if I don't, just expect a new chapter or two in a couple weeks or months.