Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Pretend

Angst cause i just cant help myself.
Nat Isn't out yet and you've been keeping your relationship a secret for a few months now.
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Y/n's pov:
"Whats a pretty girl like you doing in a bar all alone?" I can just smell the alcohol from this guys breath. I take a sip of my drink and pretend he isn't there. "Aw come on don't give me a could shoulder now. I know how to make a lady like you happy" he said while giving me the most disgusting look and grabbing my thigh and pulling me closer. I swear if this wasn't an under over mission I would've smacked him across the face by now. I hear a voice walking up behind me "I really think you should leave the girl alone. She's obviously not interested" Nat stood in between me and the drunk guy. I couldn't see his face but he briefly stood up to try and intimidate Nat and quickly wincing in pain and ran away. She turned around to look at me and check if i was ok. "My hero" I say while giving her a big smile. "Ill always save you" She gave me a smile and just walked away. "We got the files do you have eyes on the target?" Steve quickly said through comms. He sounded worried. "Yeah don't worry Nat and I are keeping an eye on them." I heard him sigh and say "Good you guys can meet as at the Quinjet. We'll be there in a while" "Copy see you in a few" I walk up to Nat holding out my hand and she happily takes it and we walk out of the bar. We get outside the bar and almost immediately Natasha pulls me into an alleyway "You look so good right now" She said smiling at me while pinned against a wall. I raise an eyebrow at her "Natasha what are you doing?" She gives me a smirk and starts kissing me. I quickly push her away "Come on what are you doing?" I look at her staring at her eyes trying to figure out what's happening "Sorry do you not want me to" She said looking at the ground embarrassed. I quickly reply "No! No of course I love it when you kiss me its just... in public? Really?" She gives me a smirk and pushes me against the wall again "Its fine no ones here and we have some time."

- At the Quinjet -

Y/n's pov:
"Where were you guys?" Tony said obviously annoyed "We were 5 minutes late Stark just shut up about it" Natasha quickly replied while rolling her eyes "Yeah but i did tell you two to go to the Quinjet already" Steve looks equally as pissed as Tony he's just trying to keep his cool. I stay silent and look at Nat but shes not even looking at me. "Well?" Tony said trying to prompt an answer out of me. "What?" "Why were you guys late?" Steve is really annoyed now he's not even trying to hide it anymore. "Well we were in our way here but-" "We got lost" Natasha said cutting me off. I try to look at her and figure her out but i just cant. Shes really good at hiding her emotions. "Guys leave them alone lets just go" Wanda said walking up from behind Tony and Steve and putting her arm around their shoulders. I give her a smile and she just winks at me. The whole flight back to the compound Natasha doesn't even look at me. She seems so cold.

- At the compound -

Y/n's pov:
Everyone goes straight to their rooms and i follow Natasha to hers. "Hey are you ok? If your not too tired could we please talk?" I say while knocking on the door. I hear her footsteps and she opens the door with a faint smile on her face "Whats up?" "Can i come in?" She smiled at me and nodded "Yeah of course" I try to start talking to her but she cuts me off and starts kissing me pushing me on to the bed. "Natasha stop" I say in between each kiss "Natasha!" She gets shocked and backs away looking at me sadly "This was fun the first few times. The sneaking around, the hiding, but I'm honestly really tired. So could you please not hide your emotions for once and tell me whats going on with you?" I look to her desperately wanting an honest answer. "I don't know what you want me to say" She said while walking to sit beside me on the edge of the bed. I turn to look at her and shes just staring at the floor. We sit in silence for a while neither of us wanting to say what we both know need to be said. I stand up to leave and she grabs my wrist to stop me. "Nat..." I said not even turning to look at her "Don't leave. Not like this" Ive never heard her sound this desperate. I turn to her still standing. Shes looking up at me sadly and it breaks my heart to see her like this. "We both know that-" "No. I need you" She stands up hugging me not wanting to let me go. I push her away. "Natasha I love you so much every time were together Im the happiest person in the world" I hold her face in my hand and stare into her eyes. After a while she moves away from me hurt, knowing whats coming next. "If you're not ready for people to know about us I get that, but Im tired of pretending I don't have feelings for you while people are aroun. I just cant do it anymore" She doesn't look at me and she just sits down. I turn to leave and stop right before the door "I will always be here for you ok this doesn't change that." I walk out to go to my own room heart broken. Natashas the most important person in my life right now and it hurts me to know that I'm the reason shes in pain but I just cant do it anymore.

- Two weeks later -

Y/n's pov:
Its time for dinner but since its a Saturday I have eat with the whole team. Including Natasha. Its been two weeks and all she does is avoid me. Even the team has started to notice it and its made thing pretty awkward to say the least.

"Hey!" I saw with a big smile in my face. Sam, Tony and Steve are all seated next to each other and Natashas behind the counter Cooking. "Sup!" All the boys say in unison. Natasha doesn't mind me and continues her cooking. After a while Bucky, Wanda, Pietro, and Vision come out. They all start talking but i cant take my eyes off of Natasha. Its been a day and I miss her so much. She finishes cooking and serves everyone food and she just walks back to her room "Wait! You're not gonna eat?" Tony says with an eyebrow raised. She doesn't stop walking but replies "Nope. Lost my appetite."
I don't say a word and i rush to follow her "Hey! Come on y/n it's Saturday breakfast you cant leave too!" I hear tony shout angrily but i don't care.

I catch up to Natasha in the hallway to her room. I grab her wrist and she quickly pulls away "Nat Come on please don't do this." She doesn't mind me and continues walking and i hold her shoulder to try and stop her again "I get that i ended thing but It doesn't mean we cant be friends right?" "Will you shut up!" she said whisper shouting. I look at her confused and she just rolls her eyes and drags me into her room "There. Talk." Her arms were crossed staring at me angrily. I don't say anything and just look into her eyes. "If you're not going to say anything just fucking leave. Thats what you do isn't it?" She looks so hurt I cant bring myself to say anything. "Nat..." "Just don't y/n. You said you couldn't pretend that you didn't have feelings for me. Well i cant pretend that I don't hate you. So no, we cant be friends. We cant act like everything's fine cause i don't want anything to do with you." I look at her with tears in my eyes. I never wanted this to happen "Don't say that... You don't hate me"  I say desperately as she walks closer to me her face covered in anger and pain. "Yes I do. Y/n I needed you and you left me. I was scared to come out and you broke up with me cause I wasn't ready. So don't come in here acting all righteous wanting to be friends because YOU left ME when i needed you the most." I just stand there in silence I don't know what to say. "Im so sorry" I barely got the words out of my mouth cause Im so choked up. "Just leave." She said in a monotone voice I stood in front of her with my feet planted on the floor mot moving "LEAVE PLEASE JUST LEAVE." She said breaking down. "Im not leaving you. Not again." I say pulling her into a hug while she cries. She tries to push me away but Im not budging. "Im so sorry baby" She stops resisting and I hold her as we sit on the floor and she cries. After a while she fell asleep in my arms and I carry her onto her bed and sleep beside her.

- The next morning -

Nat's pov:
I wake up and i have my hand on top of Y/n's stomach. I miss this and I miss her but she left me and I just don't know if I can ever forgive her for that. I decide to just go to the gym so that i can blow some steam. I got up to change as quietly as i could but Y/n still woke up "Good morning darling" She had a smile on her face that made me have butterflies in my stomach but of course i put on a blank face so that she thinks I'm still mad at her "I know you're still mad at me but-" "Can we please not do this right now" I cut her off before she could continue speaking. I tried to go to the bathroom as fast as i could but Y/n quickly got up and stood in front of me she cupped my face in her hands and stared into my eyes. "I know you're still not ready and you're scared but like I told you. I will always be here for you" I roll my eyes and push her away from me "What if you get tired just like before and you leave me and break my heart all over again." I had tears in my eyes. God I hate this. Why do I have to love her so much. "I will wait for you and I will keep on waiting for you because Id rather spend a lifetime with you in secret than another week without you." She moves closer to me and pulled me into a deep hug. "Im still mad at you." "I know baby" I could hear her smile through her teeth. She kissed my forehead and held onto my face. "Don't worry Ill make up for everything tonight" She had a huge smirk on her face and i just rolled my eyes at her. "Yeah. You better"